I still haven’t answered them.

I spose that I thought I didn’t need them, but a part of me was worried about what might come up if I did. One question in particular had a kernel of truth inside of it that I had been avoiding for 20 years.

It’s time to face the music…

A little over a year ago, I sparked up a conversation with a bloke at the gym.

That conversation turned into a friendship that’s blossomed nicely. Our personalities and interests were very aligned, but I also started to see him as a bit of a role model.

Only marginally older than me, but with all the indicators of a life I was still working toward:

• A strong/healthy body

• A successful business owner

• A long-term, committed, loving relationship

But most importantly, I knew he had seen some shit.

I knew, like me, that he’d overcome battles no one knew about. That he’d gone to war with his internal self and come out victorious. Regardless of his success, this made him relatable and someone I could trust.

He had an intimate relationship with the shadow realm, and knowledge of how to escape it.

So when we sat down a few months back to catch up and talk about my persistent struggles, and he presented these questions, I was all ears.

Then I sat on them.

Maybe I thought I was beyond the questions. That their relevance had worn off and I’d be fine if I didn’t answer them. Maybe I was scared of what would come out of me if I really sat down to think.

I’ve concluded that these questions are partly for me, but mostly for someone else.

Some quick context

At 16, I was obsessed with golf.

I genuinely thought I could and would turn pro. Then in 2004, after a freak accident on the driving range almost cost me my life, the dream was over before it began.

My parents sued the golf club. In 2008, we settled out of court.

I was awarded a $90k payout as a 19-year-old fresh out of high school. I moved to the big city, got a job at Star Casino and managed to convince my parents I needed the money to start playing poker full time.

I probably lasted 6 months before I’d gambled every cent and didn’t even have enough to cover rent.

Moved back in with my parents. Started a 10-year cycle of depression, gambling, drinking, partying, late nights and escapism.

Around 2016, I went to uni, found drugs and took the escapism in a different direction.

Up until 2022, I mostly continued the same behaviours on a loop. Partying, avoidance, lying, cheating, anger, depression, heavy drinking, no consistency, no responsibility. No concern for who I hurt along the way.

Then I found Marcus, Stoicism, gratitude and self-help content.

I started to see who I truly was, how I’d behaved and what I could do to change it all. When I finally decided to start again for the last time, I was 32.

Now I’m 37, in love, have a job I’m passionate about and create daily.

My life has arrived at a place I never thought possible. The love and happiness I feel every single day is immense.

I still feel the gnawing of the shadow realm. Not as regularly. But it’s still there.

These questions are partly a way to hold me accountable to myself and the life I’ve created. An attempt to stave off regression and the descent back into the darkness.

But they’re also for someone who might still be in the thick of it. Fighting skirmishes daily with their intrusive thoughts and their lower self.

So here they are.

1. What feeling am I trying to medicate?

Hard to really pinpoint, but I’ll give it a crack.

The feeling is most likely a deep-rooted self-loathing. Almost like I don’t believe I deserve to be happy and have a good life, so I turn to risk-taking behaviour to distract and numb me from those thoughts.

I want to be free from the shame of who I am.

Blowing things up, destroying my life and giving people a reason to be ashamed of me is easier than confronting the shame I already feel inside.

2. When did I first feel this?

There are a few things that could be the starting point.

• Fear of my own mortality

• Constant movement and disruption as a kid

• The death of my dream to be a professional golfer

But the one that stands out most is a moment at a house party in 2006, when I was 17.

I grew up in a Catholic household. Church every Sunday. Committed Christian with a very active role in youth groups and volunteering outfits.

When I was 12, I took a vow of chastity and signed a card with my commitment, which I kept in my wallet everywhere I went. I’d vowed to God I would save my virginity until marriage, only then giving it to the person I’d spend the rest of my life with.

Of course it was an easy promise to make as a pre-pubescent child. But I wore it like a badge of honour through my early high-school years.

While everyone else was being thrown off course by the wonders of sex in grade eight, nine and ten, I remained steady.

I felt like an individual. I was proud of my commitment and my resilience.

Thankfully, my willpower wasn’t tested too often, but regardless, it was intact and formed a big part of my identity.

That was until the party.

Just before it, I’d moved schools. My new friends had all lost their virginities and didn’t particularly like that I wielded my celibacy card with such pride. They thought it was stupid. Or maybe it made them feel stupid. Either way, they wanted me to be like them.

So they hatched a plan.

In the lead-up to the party, they gave a task to a girl. She was one of the more promiscuous in our year group, and the task was simple: take my virginity.

At the party, the guys helped get me super drunk. Although I didn’t need too much help with that. They assumed correctly that the lubrication would loosen my standards.

Then they shoved me in a room where the girl was waiting, turned the lights off and held the door closed from the other side. Stuck in a room with a girl in a skimpy outfit making advances while I sheepishly sat there full of cheap wine and hormones—I didn’t stand a chance.

The next morning I strolled out into the lounge room where the hungover brigade had gathered to share war stories from the night before.

They turned their attention to me. Anticipating my reaction.

I stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by these ‘friends’ of mine, and without a word pulled my wallet from my pocket. I removed the chastity card, held it up, and in an act of acceptance and surrender, tore it in half.

They applauded me. Bellowed cheers of approval. Gathered around to pat me on the back and reinforce the confusion and shame that had just spawned inside of me.

If I had to put the feeling down to one single thing, it’s that moment.

I betrayed God. But more importantly, I betrayed myself.

3. What do I want to do to act out?

Acting out has taken many shapes and sizes over the years.

• Two-day gambling binges

• Spending every last cent at the roulette table

• Drinking excessively and avoiding important tasks

• Going out 5 nights in a row and foregoing responsibilities

• Blowing up large sums of cash because I can’t emotionally regulate

• Taking more party supplies than necessary and staying up until I pass out

Most of these I have a firm grip on. The ones that still plague me from time to time are gambling and alcohol.

Previously, my acting out would be complete blow-ups. Total devastation of friendships, relationships and finances. Quitting jobs. Losing partners. Not being able to pay rent.

Proper degenerate behaviour.

Nowadays it comes in the form of 4 pints of Balter XPA and a $200 whirl on the brickie’s laptop.

I have far more control than I ever have, because the stakes are so much higher now. But I want to get to a place where these minor regressions have no place in my life whatsoever.

The itch won’t ever feel thoroughly scratched until I address the root cause.

4. What are some healthy alternatives?

A few things have helped me build healthier behaviours, but I’m always searching for more, because the journey isn’t over.

1. Creating — podcasts, writing, music

2. Exercise — boxing, gym and MMA have helped a lot

3. Learning — gaining knowledge and perspective by studying content

4. Responsibility — taking on a new role, pushing myself to evolve and work hard

5. Love — being in love and finding someone to commit to wholeheartedly gives me a steadiness that makes everything easier

These all keep me sane and on track. But I think I need something more specific. Something that ties directly to the behaviour and redirects it until new neural pathways are built.

For a long time the answer was the gym.

Even after a long day. Even if I’d already been that day. When I felt the gnawing, the itch asking to be scratched, I’d just go to the gym. Regardless of the time or how long I stayed.

Sweating, endorphins pumping, moving the body. Very healthy alternative.

But there’s another one I probably haven’t given enough credit to.

Naming it.

Actually stopping. Feeling the feeling. Writing it down. Diarising when I felt it, what the circumstances were, how long it lasted. Creating some data. Picking up on trends I could preempt next time.

And as I write this out, I reckon this is the solution.

For a long time I’ve gotten really good at reflecting (acting out, then reviewing after the fact) and not good at all at writing in the moment, while the feeling is still raw.

That’s it!!

Feel it in the moment and get it down on paper and out of my body.

1. What is the feeling?

2. What are the circumstances present?

3. What would be the consequences of acting on the feeling?

4. How can I use the energy from that feeling to do something positive?

Simple. Elegant. Powerful (hopefully).

Would you look at that, I just effed around and wrote my way to an answer I’ve been avoiding for months.

Wild!

Anyway, I think that’s it from me.

If you’re still in the thick of it, answer these four questions and see what comes up.

Take them, own them and answer them honestly. After all, they are not mine. They were handed to me by a mate who was on the other side of his own internal war, but I’m so grateful that they were gifted to me.

Because now I am gifting them to you.

LFG!!!

With gratitude,

SAV

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After a five-year layoff, many inside the UFC orbit were excited about the return of the former 2-division champion (who had a rapid rise to fame between 2015-2020).

But not everyone was excited…

Conor had made some incredibly poor decisions during the height of his career and throughout his hiatus, inciting a lot of disgust in the broader community for his continued poor behaviour. His ego grew so large that he acted with impunity, causing harm and polarising people everywhere he went.

After spending years as the UFC’s poster child, Conor very quickly descended from inspirational to insane.

Someone who MMA fighters and fans alike credit for their introduction to the sport had now become one of the most unlikeable characters in the world. His ego and antics transcended martial arts both as an icon and as a villain.

The fight at UFC 329 against Max Holloway ended quickly.

Conor blew his knee out attempting a jumping switch kick in his very first movement. Once the knee was compromised, he was a sitting duck against the speed of Holloway, with the fight being called off after just 70 seconds.

And just like that, the comeback was over.

Everyone on planet Earth has had something to say about this man in the days following… disappointment, hate, indifference, etc.

Whatever your take, this moment is very illustrative of the responsibility we all have to our current and future selves, as well as what is possible when we shirk that responsibility.

So, here’s mine:

The Tumultuous Rise

Throughout the mid-late 2010s, Conor McGregor became synonymous with 2 things: mixed martial arts & ego.

To be a professional athlete, you need to be confident in your abilities, but to become a world-class mixed martial artist… you need to possess the kind of confidence, resilience and single-mindedness that most people cannot comprehend.

Conor broke the mould.

His ability to manifest and manufacture his destiny was like nothing my generation had ever seen before.

The same way that Eminem had inspired millions to put pen to pad in the early 2000s, Conor gave hope to kids across the world who were looking for a better life, showing them what was possible through martial arts.

However, his rise, fame and celebrity were always in question due to his inability to restrain the ego.

His constant indiscretions presented a picture of a man whose superpower and kryptonite were in coexistence. Conor had spent all of his life converting the body into a weapon and the mind into a fortress, but almost no time attempting to heal the heart or cleanse the soul.

The infractions ranged from lighthearted to abhorrent, but no less consistent:

1. Racism and homophobia (2017) — Accused of racist remarks toward Mayweather ("dance for me, boy"); caught using a slur at a UFC Glasgow event.

2. Nikita Hand assault (2018 → verdict 2024) — Civil jury found he assaulted and raped her in a Dublin hotel.

3. Khabib feud (2018) — Attacked a bus, injuring two and pleaded guilty. Attacked Khabib’s father, religion, and nationality; brawl, suspension and fine.

4. Fan’s phone smashed, Miami (2019) — Grabbed and stomped a fan’s phone and kept it. Charged with robbery; charges dropped after a settlement.

5. Dublin pub punch (2019) — Punched a 50-year-old man who refused a free whiskey. Caught on CCTV, pleaded guilty to assault, fined €1,000.

6. Sexual assault (2020) — Detained in Corsica over alleged indecent exposure and sexual assault; case dropped for insufficient evidence.

7. Altercation with Machine Gun Kelly (2021) — Lunged and threw a drink at MGK during the VMA’s.

8. Dangerous driving, Dublin (2022) — Charged with dangerous driving; five-month suspended sentence and two-year driving ban.

9. Sexual assault (2022) — Woman alleged assault on his yacht in Ibiza (including a broken arm claim); she dropped the civil suit a month later.

10. Sexual assault (2023) — Civil suit filed alleging sexual assault in a bathroom during the NBA Finals; Florida case is ongoing.

In many of the instances across his life, Conor has maintained innocence and in a lot of them, had the cases/suits dropped due to lack of evidence, but the pattern is undeniable.

A man consumed by his own mythology, dancing with the devil over and over again without fear of consequence or retribution.

Important Note: Conor has been in a long-term relationship with Dee Devlin throughout all of this; meeting in 2008, having four children between 2017 and 2023 and eventually marrying in 2025.

Clash of Character

There could not have been a more stark contrast in the personal lives of the two combatants of the UFC 329 main event.

After their initial meeting in 2013 (a fight that Conor won), the pair took very different paths in the thirteen-year gap. McGregor went on to become the first-ever two-division champion and one of the all-time greats, but was constantly embroiled in controversy before taking an indefinite leave from the sport in 2021 to pursue fame and money.

Holloway found his way to the featherweight title in 2017 and became one of the greats in his own right. Showing world-class striking and eventually captivating the world of sport with a brutal last-second KO at UFC 300. All the way, remaining committed to the sport and avoiding the limelight as much as possible.

Throughout this time, Max maintained a commitment to his family, martial arts and his homeland of Hawaii. He embodied what a true martial artist should look like.

Conor, by contrast, took the rockstar route. Flirting with all the seductive traps that life as a celebrity can present. Rubbing shoulders with Donald Trump and other polarising figures, engaging with in-vogue right-wing rhetoric and displaying a lack of commitment to any sort of moral code.

Their matchup was not simply MMA athlete versus MMA athlete; it was humility versus ego; purist versus opportunist.

The result was shocking, but not surprising.

The Work is The Work

I tend to look at most things through a Stoic lens.

The work of a man is never done. Conor believed his was. He believed that the years of grinding in the gym would be enough to lean on for the rest of his life.

Marcus Aurelius was a man with all the excuses in the world to not live by principles.

He was the most powerful person in the entire world, the head of the most powerful empire in human history, yet he resisted the pull of distraction, reminding himself constantly that “if you do the job in a principled way, with diligence, energy and patience, if you keep yourself free of distractions… then your life will be happy. No one can prevent that.”

He never stopped working.

Despite the power and fame that came with his appointment, Marcus believed that the only responsibilities he had were to his own principles and to the collective consciousness (ie. the wider community).

Marcus didn’t succumb to the power of gods and men, and he never put himself on a pedestal.

Conor shares no such beliefs.

Like many powerful men before him, he believed his standards superseded all others and that his view of the world was the only view.

The refusal to continue working, acknowledge your indiscretions and change course are all signs of a weak man, not a strong one. For too long, we have celebrated this version of masculinity as desirable and almost always are found to have been very far from the mark.

Strong men don’t abuse women. Strong men control their emotions. Strong men raise up their communities and lead by example.

Protecting Your Future Self

One of the more interesting takeaways from this saga is McGregor’s recent embrace of his Christian faith.

The timing of his public commitment to God syncing up unusually well with other maligned public figures on the vibes-based political right, like Russell Brand and Donald Trump.

Too little, too late, some might say.

Although I do believe in redemption, I also believe in believing people’s actions over their words.

This is where protecting your future self becomes supremely important and cannot be overstated in all of our lives. We will all face crossroads and hardship, and we will all find ourselves in situations that challenge our values and principles—but how will we act?

Do we choose the path of least resistance, acting from a place of selfishness and self-absorption with no fear of consequence?

Or do we do the hard thing simply because it is the right thing?

Conor’s dedication to the sport of MMA has only been matched by his subservience to his own self-interest. At no point in his decorated career has he been concerned about his soul, his highest self and the ramifications of his poor judgment.

Choosing only to serve the ego and impulses of the flesh.

Protecting your future self means acting from a place of power and humility because one day you may have to answer for your actions.

Final Thoughts

This story is nothing new.

Powerful men have abused their power, become intoxicated by ego and torched their legacies since the beginning of time, but never have I seen such a visceral depiction of this energy culminate in a single action (jumping switch kick) while the world watched.

Conor will go down as one of the greatest entertainers the world has ever seen.

His ability to overcome adversity and dominate the globe as a mixed martial artist will always remain a source of inspiration for young fighters/athletes; it should also provide a cautionary tale of what can happen if the ego goes unchecked.

Great art or athletic prowess will never be a substitute for great character.

Our society rewards greatness. We prioritise a skill set over a set of principles, but your deeds and actions will always catch up.

Just make sure you’re ready when they do.

Thanks for reading!

With gratitude,

SAV

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When we (rūku and I) first began immersing ourselves in the Melbourne music scene in 2019, Riverine was one of the first people we truly connected with.

He played at our Dutch Boys launch party at Laundry Bar in Fitzroy as a solo act and soon after appeared as one of my first music guests on the Slap Happy podcast, which you can watch here.

In mid 2025, we finally reconnected to cook up the CHAMP CAMP EP.

Then, at the end of 2025, he decided to go dark mode to cook up a new album. No calls, clients, bookings, texts or socials… just a burner phone for emergencies.

Some people called it extreme, I found it fascinating and truly inspiring.

In a single month, he completed 12 songs from start to finish:

• Writing

• Recording

• Production

• Instrumentation

• Mixing and mastering

• Booking a listening party

• Creating the content & planning the rollout

For anyone who has ever created music, this is impressive… but the quality of the music is what makes it really, really impressive.

What makes it more impressive is the mountain he had to climb to get to that place.

Four years ago, Riverine packed up his life and moved to Mexico. The dream move. The big swing. It fell apart in months. He came home to his parents’ place in Brisbane with nothing in the bank. Had to borrow money from them just to buy a car.

A year later, he was in Perth, playing for YNG Martyr on a run of festivals. Although he was on a stage in front of thousands of people, the $2 Hungry Jacks brekkie he bought that morning was a gentle reminder of how far away he was from ‘making it’.

Through the grind of independent artist life, he kept a promise to himself—that one day, when secure enough, he would take an entire month off just to make music without the anxiety of covering bills or the fear of missing out.

Then last year his royalties finally ticked up.

And instead of seeking more and doing what most people would do (eg. quietly move the goalposts and keep grinding), he sat himself down and asked the hard question:

“You’ve wanted to get to this point for so long. You’re here now. Are you going to follow through, or are you just going to keep chasing more?”

Then in a moment of clarity, he found the answer…

So, he blocked out October. Told his clients weeks in advance. Turned the phone off. Kept his word.

We sat down at the beginning of the year to chat about his experience.

Here are 6 things I took from a conversation with Riverine:

1. More never comes

More is an illusion.

And typically, it never arrives. The search for more money creates the eternal race for more money (ie. the rat race). The search for more efficiency creates a tiring pursuit of 1% improvements (ie. Brian Johnson).

More is never enough.

Riverine told me about mates of his who said, “I’ll just do this corporate job I hate for six months, save up for the EP, then quit and chase the dream.”

Seven years later. No EP.

The finish line you’re waiting for doesn’t define itself. That’s your job. You have to call it. He got to the moment he’d fantasised about for nine years, and the only thing left to do was follow through.

Most people don’t. He did.

2. You can do everything by the book and still eat shit

Before the album, Riverine spent months doing everything the music marketing gurus on YouTube tell you to do. Single every month. Gaming the algorithm. Pigeonholing himself into the version of his music people found easiest to swallow.

It felt empty. And it didn’t even work.

So when it came time to release this album, his logic was simple:

“I can do everything textbook and still eat shit and get no results. I may as well make this album and release it exactly how I want to, because I can eat shit regardless.”

So he did it his way.

All the intention, weird stuff and wholeheartedness that he knew were most aligned with his true self. And, the reality is that the weirdest choices on that album—the ambient tracks, the metal breakdowns, the stuff no marketing guide would ever sign off on—that’s what people responded to most.

As he put it:

“The most idiosyncratic, unique things about you are what you need to lean into the most to make anything worth checking out at all.”

You might as well do it with your chest out. And if you eat shit anyway, at least it tastes better that way.

Not 100% sure about the science behind that, but it feels right to me.

3. The well isn’t bottomless—your community fills it

His little stint in Mexico was a brutal reminder of the importance of community.

He’d always seen himself as disciplined and motivated. Then he landed in a country where he knew nobody, on the opposite time zone to everyone he loved, and the well he’d been drawing from for years just... wasn’t there.

There was no escaping the reality of what the community gave him.

Discipline is one ingredient in the making of the ‘independent artist’ burger. The burger isn’t complete without a bunch of other goodies: studio drop-ins, gigs, sessions, and mates.

Now, Riverine is one of the most committed people to the scene that I know.

His support of and commitment to his fellow creatives are unmatched.

The community, the lifestyle and the friends you make along the journey are more important than we give them credit for.

Sometimes you have to go halfway around the world to find out.

4. Trust creates speed

Riverine produced my CHAMP CAMP EP, and those sessions were some of the most fun I’ve had making anything. We moved fast. Not because we rushed, but because we trusted each other.

This is an idea I first heard from Patrick Bet-David a few years back on a podcast.

If you trust someone, you don’t have to second-guess. They make a suggestion, you action it because their taste and quality have already been battle tested.

CHAMP CAMP came together in pretty quick time because I trusted Riverine.

He said a thing, I did a thing, and vice versa.

On the podcast, he told me the flip side of that as a producer. He stated that the least confident artists are the hardest to work with. They micromanage. Forty-eight notes on one song. They self-attack their songs the same way they self-attack themselves, hacking at every little piece, chasing a perfection that doesn’t exist.

All of that finessing just leaves you with a “sterile turd”, he said.

If you’re insecure, you grab for control. If you back yourself, you can let go. And letting go is where the speed and the magic live.

5. Celebrate the moment while you still can

Neither of us did a big launch show. We both did listening parties instead. Just a few homies in a small room, a couple of beers and the full projects played front to back.

I personally loved my listening party and wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Riverine echoed my sentiment…

“Even if I did nothing else, that listening party was enough.”

And then he went further:

“If it’s just moments like that over and over again until I die, I’m happy.”

You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be present. Celebrate the things that matter, while they still matter and while you still can.

Sometimes that is enough.

6. We confuse fame with skill—but at what cost?

Riverine had some great insight into the idea of fame.

And the pitfalls of being famous.

Every artist you’ve ever loved only reached you because they had some degree of fame. Their music found your feed, your mate’s playlist, your radio. So without realising it, you conflate the thing you love (the music) with the thing that delivered it (the fame).

“The odds of your favourite album of your entire life being from an artist with 60 monthly listeners are pretty low.”

Then you start creating, and slowly the hunger shifts. It stops being about making the thing and starts being about being seen making the thing. Riverine has seen this compromise artists and mates over and over again.

Fame usually equals money, or the idea of having lots of stuff—Riverine had a very pointed thought on that:

“If we just want to make money, go into literally any other industry.”

Make the music. Do the listening party with your mates. Be happy with that. If more comes, great. If it doesn’t, you still made the world a bit better.

Final Thoughts

He signed off the podcast with an absolute zinger…

Every year, he said, he tries to get a little more honest with himself. A little deeper. A little scarier. Because that’s where the good work is, and that’s how you sleep at night knowing you did this thing properly.

If you want to watch the full chat with Riverine, you can do so below.

Also, go check out his album like the birds do.

That’s it from me this week, gang.

With gratitude,

SAV

If this landed, subscribe below. Every week I show up and tell the truth about the work—the hard bits, the slow bits and the bits that make it worth it.

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That’s where we are, people and boy, hasn’t it flown!

It feels like yesterday that I was hopping off a plane from Hong Kong after just visiting my girlfriend’s family for two weeks… and quicker than I could say “holy fucking shit it’s July”, the financial year has ended, and I am now forced to sit and reflect on how I have actually done.

Most folks wanna wait until December to take stock—if they do it at all.

The year speeds by, the reflection happens on New Year’s Eve with a drink in hand and dart in mouth, with a vague feeling that things could’ve/should’ve been better.

Me… I’d rather look now, while there’s still time to make haste.

So I’m rolling out the Wheel of Life again (pun intended)—same exercise I used at the end of 2025. Eight categories. A score out of ten. All the best bits put under a microscope.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

Friends

Score: 5/10

Summary: My social life has not really blossomed this year as I thought it might. The reality is that I am going through a transitional phase of life, lots of growth, and sometimes it is hard to prioritise everything all at once. With that said, I definitely need to start making small but impactful efforts here.

Adjustments to make: Regular calls/check-ins with my most loved ones, make the effort you want to see in others, do the thing that others may not. Where there is distance, close it. If you commit, stick to it. You don’t need to be an ultra-social butterfly, but you do have to make some effort.

Career

Score: 9/10

Summary: My career has really been on the move. In late April, I was promoted to Campaign Manager within my company, and although that asks for a lot more responsibility and work, I am happy to take on the challenge. So far, the money is not stacking up to the input, and the hours are demanding to stay on top of everything, but I am loving it. The team is full of different problems and personalities. It is forcing me to evolve and become a better problem solver.

Adjustments to make: Work/life balance will become a factor shortly if I do not improve efficiencies in my workflows and learn to get things done a little quicker. Diarising, time-blocking, tackling the hard tasks, and being better with my communication will all help.

Finance

Score: 6/10

Summary: My money habits are still not great, but there are small improvements being made around how and what I spend my money on. Slightly less reckless habits and more willingness to add to savings. Having a bit more job security and consistency with the promotion will help, but also my partner (being quite frugal and good at saving) is playing a big role and forcing me to evolve. I no longer need to rely on my commission to get through the month and pay down debts/bills, which is useful.

Adjustments to make: Cut right down to a weekly budget for ad hoc spending. It is essentially unlimited at the moment, and there is still too much leakage. I have started saving, but need to dial this up over the next 6 months if I am to hit the goal I have set out.

Health

Score: 6/10

Summary: This is the area that has probably seen the greatest improvements. At the end of 2025 and the beginning of 2026, my health was really frustrating me. I was in constant pain due to a chronic neck injury, eating poorly, not exercising enough due to pain and indulging in too many poisons (vaping/drinking/other). Moving in with my girl has had a huge impact on this. She loves to cook amazing and nutritious meals, as well as shop weekly for groceries—she trains 4 times a week and doesn’t drink. Her commitment to her health is helping pull me away from my poor habits. On top of that, a massage therapist I’ve been seeing has played a huge part in helping me recover from the neck pain. I also engaged a personal trainer to help me get some consistency back into my training and to focus on flexibility and mobility (which had been waning). I’m back training multiple times a week, enjoying saunas and overall eating much better.

Adjustments to make: There is still some work to do around snacking, random beers and vaping, but for the first time in 18 months, I am feeling confident and happy about my body and health. Subtracting the vaping/snacking/random drinking, in addition to everything mentioned above, will have me back at optimal fitness by year’s end.

Family

Score: 9/10

Summary: Not much has changed here. I love my family; they are everything to me. My Nan's passing away a couple of weeks back was a huge blow to my family, especially my Mum, who really took it hard, but the experience galvanised my family even further and proved how good we have it to be in each other’s lives.

Adjustments to make: I think scheduling time in my calendar for my family is going to make a difference. At the moment, our interactions are based on proximity or motivation, but I think we can do better than that (or at least I know that I can). Scheduling a weekly or bi-weekly check-in with everyone will make sure I get to them and continue to strengthen our bonds.

Romance

Score: 10/10

Summary: Things have been evolving really naturally and smoothly. We moved into a beautiful apartment in a great building in our favourite area in late May, and it has been a dream. Cooking together, helping each other with chores, spending quality time and going on little adventures. The more time I spend with her, the better I become as a man and as a human.

Adjustments to make: Buy a car and start going on little trips away to further out suburbs or out of town to increase novelty and fun.

Personal Growth

Score: 6/10

Summary: In the first 6 months, I have had to do a lot of hard things. The growth I have gained from these experiences has been solid, but I wouldn’t say much more than what I already knew. Although there has been a positive step forward from where I finished last year, there is always more that can be done. Between my relationship, deaths, work and creation, I have been asked to stay steady, and I have done that… but I feel like there is a lot of growth to be done.

Adjustments to make: Get back to reading and hunting for big ideas. Writing weekly is good to explore an idea, but that is one idea, once a week. I need to be on the hunt daily. Reading Marcus, studying Pressfield, unpacking great creators and digging into my own previous thoughts and creations to see what I am missing.

Hobbies

Score: 6/10

Summary: In one sense, the hobbies and creations have been great, but in so many others, it has been inconsistent and lacking. So far this year, I have managed to stay on track for my one and only real goal for 2026—to write a newsletter every week (the one you are reading). I have shipped 27 newsletters, and to be honest, I am quite proud of that, but the music creation and podcasting have mostly taken a backseat as I tried to wade through some pressure-filled periods. Thankfully, this won’t be for much longer, as I have already started batch recording podcasts and with this new role feel a little more space to create. I have also started writing my follow-up to CHAMP CAMP EP, which I will begin production on in the coming weeks (more on that later).

Adjustments to make: I have a solid foundation of knowing that a newsletter will get shipped every week, regardless of what else is going on, but I think it is time to start planning. Rather than write them weekly, maybe batch and schedule them so that I can free up some space to fire the podcast engine back up, or start recording the album.

Final Thoughts

Still not perfect. Never will be.

But if you’d asked me in January whether I’d take this position, I’d have said yes without hesitation.

Let’s take a quick look at the comparison:

You can see that most things are trending upwards.

Finance and health were a big priority this year, and those are two that are seeing the most change. The ones that have gone down are having to contend with me being hypercritical of myself, so take them with a grain of salt.

Overall, I am happier, healthier, and slowly pulling the pieces together for the life that I want.

I have a family that loves me. A partner who makes me better. A roof over my head, a career that’s moving and a body that’s healing.

Life is good. And there’s still six months left to make it better.

If you want to run the exercise yourself, I put together a free template—link below.

DOWNLOAD HERE

Anyway, that’s it from me this week, gang!

With gratitude,

SAV

If this gave you ideas, subscribe below. Every week I show up, do the honest work and share what I find — the good, the bad and the bits I’m still figuring out.

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In that time, we have trialled a bunch of TV series as a couple, but none of them had stuck, until we gave Ted Lasso a crack last week.

Since then, we have been obsessed.

Our first official couples binge-watch series. We’ve managed to crank out a couple of shows a night for the past week or so, and we have loved every minute of it.

We have laughed in unison over and over again. Enjoyed the character development, sub-plots, humour and tension. Everything about it has been captivating, insightful and just so, so funny.

If you haven’t watched it, do yourself a favour and start tonight.

A bit about the show…

Some quick context for the uninitiated…

Ted Lasso is about an American gridiron coach who is hired to coach a lowly English Premier League side in soccer (football).

He is flown to the other side of the world to coach a team of men he has no relationship with, in a game he has no idea about, in a country he is not familiar with.

We soon learn that his hiring was part of an evil revenge plan concocted by the club’s new owner, Rebecca, to spite her ex-husband Rupert, who loved the club. Rebecca gained ownership of the club after Rupert left it to her in their divorce.

Despite being set up to fail, Ted is undeterred.

He slowly and methodically wears everyone down, gains their trust and builds camaraderie in a team whose soul had left them.

Ted’s enthusiasm, energy, and optimism are disarming and playful, but his sense of justice and principle earns him respect throughout the community. Eventually, the club and the town that supports them begin to change their tune.

Here are 6 things I have taken from the show so far, and why I think it is a superb representation of the core Stoic principles I attempt to live my life by:

1. You catch way more flies with honey

As the saying goes…

You catch way more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

Speaking literally, honey is sticky, whereas vinegar is not. But metaphorically, honey is sweet.

Being sweet (ie. nice/pleasant) is a much more potent tool for building connections. Yes, we live in a world where people are inherently pessimistic, but remaining pleasant in the face of that is a very quick way to disarm people.

Energy and enthusiasm are infectious.

Whether by design or accident, carrying yourself around with a certain energy will eventually bleed into those around you.

Have you ever spent time around someone who complains all day about their work?

After two days, you will also be convinced that the world is shit.

But spend a week around someone who oozes optimism, like Ted…

You will start seeing the brighter side of life. Maybe not right away, but eventually it’ll sink in.

Connecting with people through negative means (eg. bitching, moaning, fear, pessimism) might illicit a quicker connection, as people tend to find these easier. But connecting with people through sweeter alternatives (eg. optimism, confidence, laughter, joy) will build deeper and stronger connections.

If you want to relate to people, use vinegar.

If you want to lead people, use honey.

2. Curiosity is a superpower

Right from the moment he arrives at the club, Ted begins employing his cagey curiosity.

The first thing he does when he comes onto the home ground and training facilities of AFC Richmond is to walk out onto the playing surface. He wants to get a feel for it.

He clocks team assistant Nate and begins making conversation. Nate is taken aback as Ted asks what his name is:

Over and over again, Ted chooses curiosity when encountering a new character.

He is always seeking to understand.

Through curiosity, he is able to find common ground with everyone in the club. Once you find common ground with a human being, they are much more likely to hear you out.

Curiosity invites understanding, and understanding invites camaraderie.

Being curious simply means not to assume. Remove your pre-conceived ideas about a topic/person/environment and attempt to understand what is actually going on.

Epictetus put it simply:

Ted operates like he knows nothing—and that’s exactly why everyone eventually trusts him.

I say it is a superpower because it is a rare trait.

Most people do not wish to understand. Most people have their way, their thoughts, and their expectations, and they push them onto those around them.

This may build complicity, but it rarely delivers connection.

3. Doing hard stuff is sexy

Over and over again, the characters in the show are faced with challenges.

They are constantly being brought to a crossroad and asked to choose—the easy way or the right way.

Every single time, they choose the hard way.

Not because it is easy, but because it is right. They don’t always get the desired outcomes, but in the eyes of the viewer (ie. me), they have succeeded.

The Stoics called this Amor Fati—love of fate.

The idea that every obstacle, every crossroads, every uncomfortable moment isn’t happening to you. It’s happening for you.

Ryan Holiday built a whole book around it. Ted Lasso built a whole show around it through repeated action in the face of adversity.

Doing hard stuff is not easy.

It requires courage. It requires the removal of expectation. It requires foresight into the potential outcomes.

Often in life, people choose the wrong path not because they are bad or evil, but because it is much simpler not to face adversity. It is much simpler to defer pain to a future that may not arrive.

Through the show, we see countless examples of characters choosing the hard way.

1. Roy standing up for Nate

2. Keeley’s admission to Roy that she slept with Jamie

3. Rebecca’s confession to Ted about her reasons for hiring him

4. Sam’s protest against Dubai Air

5. Higgins’ truth bomb to Coach Beard about his relationship with Jane

Every single time, they do it without fear of consequence

And every single time they appear sexier to the viewer for doing so.

4. Mental health can affect anyone

There are so many things I love about this show, but probably the thing I have found most fascinating is the role mental health plays in Ted.

A guy who has just gone through a divorce, attempting to do the impossible, with the entire world against him, continues to plot forward seemingly undeterred. But eventually it catches up to him.

The pressure builds inside until he can’t contain it any longer.

In a brilliant scene toward the end of season one, Ted suffers a panic attack.

The team is out celebrating a big win when anxiety overwhelms him in a crowded karaoke bar. His hands start shaking, and the feeling takes over to the point he pushes his way through the crowd to escape to the street, where he is found by Rebecca curled up and breathing heavily.

I’ve felt this exact thing, more times than I can count.

It’s terrifying.

I love the fact that the show decides to take the character there, because it is so real.

No amount of optimism or ‘she’ll be right’ can subdue the undercurrent of anxiety that we all deal with, if not addressed properly.

The work is the work is the work is the work.

Even Ted, with a bulletproof character and seemingly unflappable brightness, is taken down and totally floored by this panic attack.

This scene illustrates so brilliantly that mental health can come for all of us, at any time. Despite how ‘together’ people may lead on, what is going on inside may be a completely different story.

Don’t take things for granted. Never judge a book by its cover.

All the cliches…

The point is that mental health is real, panic attacks are debilitating, and a smile does not mean someone is not drowning in pain.

5. Lessons learned are bigger than results earned

What we learn along the way and who we become are worth more than any trophy.

This show illustrates this over and over again.

One example is when Jamie, after departing Richmond and heading back to Premier League side Man City, finds himself a bit lost.

So he returned to the club that was actually helping him grow as a human.

He accepted the demotion and assumed his place on the outskirts of the club because he knew deep down that this was his only shot at redemption.

Prioritising self-development over ego and fame.

Another great example is when the team, after four straight draws, finally have a change of fortune… a loss.

But despite the loss, the team are seen celebrating in the locker room, not because they lost, but because they had rallied behind Sam in his protest against Dubai Air.

The team was united.

Probably my favourite example so far was when Keeley attempted to help Roy work through his identity crisis. Roy Kent, football superstar and former Chelsea hard man, is weighing up retirement and feeling the dread of being a regular person again.

After having football been his key identifying feature since the age of 12, he doesn’t know who he is going to be during life after football. In a very sweet scene, his new partner Keeley calls over Roy’s niece Phoebe. She tells her to close her eyes and say everything she knows about her Uncle Roy.

She proceeds to rattle off a bunch of identifying features and concludes with ‘I love him’, not once mentioning his status as a professional footballer.

Life is rewarding if we allow it to be.

Wins are not wins if we do it with people we despise. Success feels empty if all we have to show for it is a trophy. Fame is not important if we can’t be true to ourselves.

The show constantly brings its characters to a place that is hard to digest—a setback, a loss, an identity crisis etc, and every time the characters have a choice… do I choose the ego that has served me to this point, or do I evolve to the higher version of myself?

When it’s all said and done, people will remember what you did, not who you were.

Legacy is founded on character, not accolades.

6. What’s good for the whole is good for the part

In Stoicism, there is an idea called Cosmopolitanism.

It basically refers to the collective consciousness and interconnectedness of man (Ie. we are all part of one living entity called humanity).

The Stoics believed that if something was good for the community, it was good for the individual, not every individual, but the average individual that makes up that collective.

Conversely, something bad for the community is likely to be bad for the average individual.

Coming from a game like Gridiron, Ted always prioritised a team-first mentality. Gridiron is a game with so many moving parts that the team has no choice but to be aligned at all times.

Every single thing we do is adding to or taking away from the collective.

By putting the team first, the collective first, we may get some things wrong, but if the collective succeeds, then it is ultimately good for the individual.

Too many people think with a ‘me first’ mentality.

Emphasising their own selfish desires and needs to feel powerful and rewarded. By removing the ego, prioritising the whole and focusing on collective success, we free ourselves from the burden and loneliness of individualism.

Life is a lot more fun when we are sharing…

Sharing wins.

Sharing our losses.

Sharing our war stories.

Sharing our dreams and passions.

Sharing the pain and torment of human life.

Ted forces his team and the people in his orbit to gravitate toward this thinking because he understands the importance of the team.

He makes tough choices with the team in mind.

Occasionally putting individuals off-side (pun not intended), but eventually bringing them back to the truth… that life is way more interesting when shared through the lens of community and connection.

Final thoughts

This show has been a lovely reminder of the good in people.

It shines a light on all of the selfishness and shitty behaviour that every one of us is capable of, but it chooses to reveal a more wholesome and rewarding path forward.

It reveals our deepest insecurities: separation, loss, heartbreak.

But it reminds us of our greatest strengths: courage, honesty, perseverance.

There is a bit of Ted in all of us, and the more we can lean into that, the better the world around us becomes.

Life is hard, but you are harder.

In the words of Ted Lasso…

That’s all for this week, gang.

With gratitude,

SAV

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Every week I show up and find the lesson hiding inside the ordinary—the shows, the hard nights and everything in between.

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Two from Mum. Two from my brother.

Never a good sign.

By the time I get her on the phone, she’s locked out of an apartment, alone, crying in a stairwell—and a locksmith is asking her for $800 to open two doors…

That was just the start of it.

This one is a doozy, buckle up!

The context

A couple of weeks ago, my Nan passed away.

I wrote extensively about this woman who had done so much for our family in this newsletter.

My Nan was my Mum’s Mum, and they were best mates.

They would hang out every day, go on little adventures and chat constantly about what was happening and reminisce on the crazier times.

Since my Nan passed, my Mum has been pretty heartbroken (understandably so).

Mum had been feeling a little lost, so she decided to take a couple of weeks to herself, escape the constant reminders on the Central Coast and come to Melbourne to stay in my brother’s vacant apartment while he holidays in the USA.

My brother’s apartment is located on the 3rd floor of an older apartment building tucked one street back from Church Street in Richmond.

She had been enjoying her little getaway.

Day trips, visiting cafes, going to dinner or the movies with me, having lunch with my brother Luke, walking around town or simply just laying down and crying without any distraction.

Whatever she needed to do to feel better, she was doing it.

The prelude

On Monday night, I was catching up on work when I decided to take a break to check my phone and start prepping for dinner.

It was roughly 8 pm.

I checked and saw several missed calls from Mum and Luke… not a good sign.

She had just returned from an outing to find that she had lost the key to my brother’s apartment somewhere on her travels.

Already feeling a sense of hopelessness and burden from losing her best mate, she was brought to a place of distress, with no way to get into the apartment and no one to come and help.

She had spent over half an hour in the stairwell, crying and attempting to contact my brother and me for help.

Luke managed to speak to her and sent her a locksmith's website.

In a state of panic, she called the locksmith and asked them to come help without receiving a quote or any expectation of what the job might cost.

I finally managed to get onto her, and by now it was closer to 830pm.

The locksmith had arrived and was asking for $1000 to open the 2 doors, but ‘graciously’ had brought the price down to $800. She was distraught and didn’t know what to do.

I asked her to put the locksmith on the phone…

I explained to the guy that she is an older woman who is in distress and not thinking clearly, as she had just lost her Mum. I reiterated that I knew he was just doing his job, but I wanted to know what options we had, as $800 seemed preposterous.

He said that for the doors to be opened, it would be $800; otherwise, pay a cancellation fee of $150.

I apologised for wasting his time, but said that neither of those options seemed reasonable given my Mum’s distress. I told him that his services were not needed tonight and that I would come collect my Mum, then gave him my name and number and told him I would sort out the fee with his company tomorrow.

I said I was happy to pay something, just not right now.

He probed for an amount of money that I would be able to pay…

I told him that no money was being exchanged tonight, thanked him for his time and told him that I would be coming to get my Mum shortly.

Midway through my sentence, he hung up the phone in frustration.

Not a good sign.

The drama

I was halfway through dinner when he hung up the phone, but immediately jumped up, threw on some shoes and headed straight out the door.

I ordered an Uber, but it was taking too long, so I flagged a vacant taxi.

Once in the taxi, I called to make sure Mum was ok and to reassure her that I was on my way. She was crying and telling me not to come.

I could hear that the guy was still there.

But why would he still be there? The job had been cancelled, this doesn’t make sense.

I started panicking.

A couple of minutes later, I received a phone call from my Dad…

“Matt, hurry, there’s 3 of them now”

I hang up and instantly tick into fight or flight. I don’t have the full picture, but I’m now really concerned. It’s late at night, and there are 3 guys surrounding my anxious, elderly mother.

I start filtering through the possibilities.

This could be nothing, but in the rare case that it is something, I need to be prepared.

I make a call to my buddy, someone I know can handle themselves if things go sideways.

“Mate, my Mum is in trouble, I need you to be at this address ASAP”

He simply responded, “Say less, I’ll be there in 10”.

As I’m headed down Church Street, we pass the Richmond cop shop, and I see 2 officers in their paddy wagon. I tell the taxi driver to stop immediately and let me out. I hand him my phone as collateral and sprint toward the cops.

I try to calm my breathing (by now the adrenaline is well and truly pumping) and give them a quick backstory.

I basically let them know that I believe my Mum is being extorted and that I am about to head over there into what may be a hostile situation. I tell them that they don’t have to attend, but it might be worth being there in case things escalate.

Then I charge back to the taxi, hop in and proceed toward the apartment.

The taxi pulls up, I pay the fare and Usain Bolt down an alleyway to the back street and toward the apartment block.

Running toward the steps up to the apartment, I start yelling out, I can’t see my Mum yet, but just in case they are surrounding her, as I believe, I want to scare them away.

“Fuck off you dogs”

“Leave my Mum alone… fuck you cunts”

I race past 2 of them, who are now sitting on the stairs just outside the apartment, and one of them starts yelling back at me, taunting me. I ignore him, I just want to get to my Mum.

As I approach the top flight of stairs, I see the apartment door has been opened.

Mum is inside and sitting down, she appears to be ok.

I start believing that I may have miscalculated, maybe I was wrong. I have a huge dump of adrenaline and realise that the police are now approaching a situation that may have been a huge waste of their time.

So I turn to run back down the stairs to greet the cops and tell them that there was a misunderstanding and that I am sorry for wasting their time.

They now have a duty of care to investigate and proceed to head up the stairs.

I take myself away from the scene to calm down.

While I am pacing around and trying to settle my breathing, I overhear the cops asking the guys questions… “Who do you work for?” and “Why do you need three men to open one door?”, the cops are clearly suspect on what has been going on, but without any real proof, they take their details and allow them to leave.

The cops head up to check on Mum, and the guys head downstairs to where I am now sitting. We start chatting. At this point, my mate arrives and sees me and these guys calmly talking about what had just happened.

I apologise to the guys for overreacting, still thinking that I had misread the situation.

The guys leave, and the cops come down after finishing with Mum. I apologise again for wasting their time; they assure me that this is not time wasted, as companies that prey on the vulnerable do exist.

They were also of the opinion that something sinister may have been at play.

The cops leave, and my buddy and I go to check in on my Mum.

The aftermath

We sat down with Mum to go through what had happened.

She said that after the guy hung up on me, he went to get 2 of his friends and that the 3 of them cornered my Mum and told her to call her son (me), so that they could get paid.

She refused to call me and instead started crying and saying that she was scared.

A few of the neighbours poked their heads out to see what the commotion was about, and I believe in a moment of panic, the guys caved and accepted $200 to open the door rather than have this escalate any further.

I made sure Mum felt safe and calm, and then got a ride home with my mate.

When I arrived home, I called Dad to debrief on the craziness that had just taken place, still not really sure if I had overreacted or not.

During our conversation, we started going over the details, and it became abundantly clear what had just happened. After searching for the company’s reviews, we were inundated with scam warnings—Trustpilot, Reddit, Product Review, you name it, these guys were very well known to be pure scum.

Here’s a very small sample…

After seeing dozens of very recent reviews sharing the same experience of helplessness, I became a little disoriented in how to feel.

On one hand, I was justified in my quick response and outrage.

On the other hand, I had apologised to these guys and allowed them to walk away after just terrifying and intimidating my already heartbroken Mother.

I didn’t necessarily need to resort to violence, but I did want justice.

And after seeing all these reviews, clearly corroborating our suspicions that these guys preyed on the weak and vulnerable, it made my thirst for justice even more prevalent.

My Mum was safe, my job for this night was done, but this saga is nowhere near finished.

A note to those involved

To my Mum, who showed insane courage to make a scene in the face of this terror rather than silently complying, I am so proud of you! You made your voice heard and scared these cowards into changing course.

To my mate who answered the call (you know who you are) without a second thought about self-preservation… thank you. You were there in my family’s time of need; that’s what family does for one another. Your selflessness in that moment showed me who I already knew you to be: a man of honour, bravery and integrity.

To the cops who took me seriously and arrived to help manage the situation with professionalism and calmness, thank you.

To the three weak excuses of men who attempted to intimidate an old, vulnerable woman for money, you are cowards who choose to lean into greed and self-preservation over common decency… shame on you.

Final thoughts

This was a truly wild experience, one that I am glad resulted in a decent outcome.

I’m glad my Mum is safe. Glad my mate answered the call without hesitation. Glad the cops took it seriously.

But we were the lucky exception.

These guys will try this again. And next time, the person on the other end of that phone might not have a son who can get there in time.

We’re not done with this. Not even close.

For now, I’m just grateful for what we still have.

That’s it from me this week, gang.

With gratitude,

SAV

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I’m not pro-Trump. I’m not anti-Trump.

I’m pro-human.

The moment we start talking about “them” and “us,” we’ve already lost.

But I am curious. And curiosity means I sit with things I don’t agree with long enough to actually understand them.

Because the world doesn’t feel safe right now—and someone is profiting from that feeling.

The fear you’re carrying isn’t new. It’s been here before. Pandemics, wars, financial collapses—fear is ancient. What’s new is how organised it is, how loud it is, and how many people are being paid to keep it that way.

So I’m not going to add to it.

The changing of the tides…

In 2016, this billionaire reality TV star took the world by storm in one of the greatest upset victories of the modern era.

Then he (along with every other side of politics) stoked racial tension and mused on about identity politics until things came to a head in 2020 when he was pushed aside for a change candidate.

He denied the results, claiming they had been falsified.

Despite his frustrations at ‘the system’, he did move aside (just after gently causing an insurrection).

Political unrest and global violence then proceeded to rage for 4 years as the Biden experiment seemed to fail.

And then, by some divine intervention... big DJT, riding a wave of anti-woke, “isolationist”, America first and anti-establishment rhetoric stormed back into the top job for at least another 4 years.

So Trump has been back in charge for nearly a year now—what are we to make of it?

Rather than get caught up in the fear apparatus, I’m using 5 things to help me stay grounded now (and forever)…

1. Gratitude

Every moment presents an opportunity.

To see what you have and be grateful for it, or to look away in preference of another thing/moment.

This is a fast track to unhappiness.

Many people prefer to acquaint themselves daily with what they wish they had and not what they do have. It’s a sad state of affairs, but it doesn’t have to be.

Fear is rampant, but again, it doesn’t have to be.

By writing 5-10 things you are grateful for every morning, you increase your vibration.

Looking within and seeing what you have been blessed with will lead to a lighter and brighter existence. This is true freedom and power.

Do it for long enough, and you just might change the world.

At the very least, your own inner world.

2. Reading

I don’t read too wide anymore—but I do read deep.

The main topic of study: Stoicism.

Stoicism is an ancient philosophy popularised in modern times by author Ryan Holiday, but it has one of the oldest and most consistent practices known to man.

I generally read 2-3 pages per day of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

Like every great thinker of the last 5000 years, his ideas and insights lead me to deep thinking and self-actualisation—ideas on:

• Love

• Respect

• Discipline

• Obedience

• Selflessness

• Acceptance of death

• Disregard for material things

• Awareness of your responsibilities

• Unwavering commitment to his principles

• Prioritisation of the community over the individual

You don’t have to read Stoicism, but read something.

Any reading, especially of the classics, will heighten your ability to see the world the way it was meant to be seen.

Centred around love and abundance.

Reading is the key to unlocking parts of you and parts of the world around you that you might never have seen otherwise.

3. Writing

I write almost every day.

Writing is a skill that brings us closer to our actual thoughts.

Where reading allows us to discover things we didn’t know about, writing helps us synthesise our knowledge on the things we do know about.

It helps us excavate deeply held beliefs.

Uncover our true thinking on certain topics, and shine light on the parts of us that the world hasn’t seen

Writing allows you to understand yourself in a new light.

To see the truth and affirm your position.

Using a pen helps (as discussed in this newsletter) because it creates a real connection to the words and invites a deeper understanding and neural pathways on the topic.

If you don’t have time for pen & pad, that’s fine, tap away on your laptop like I’m doing right now

Just take the time to get your thoughts down, journal on where you are and find a way to unpack the thoughts within you. Figure out what is real, what is not real, and what’s been borrowed from an external entity.

4. Curiosity

Curiosity is a superpower.

It is the ultimate superpower against shit behaviour.

Have you ever had someone get angry at you, and rather than reacting, you probed with questions, harmlessly seeking to understand?

It’s a beautiful thing. The target in question has nothing to use as fuel.

Curiosity has a wonderfully disarming effect.

It also allows you to gain insight into everyone and everything.

At our company, we have a motto when dealing with situations that require our undivided attention, things like:

1. New technologies

2. Stakeholder disputes

3. Customer complaints

4. Teammates with new ideas

5. Disgruntled/underperforming staff

The motto is…

Seek to understand

This is curiosity in practice. This is the art of being okay with not knowing, but being resolute in your mission to properly understand that you don’t know.

Curiosity leads to deeper connections and stronger foundations to build our views and our arguments around.

Try not to lean on emotion and reaction immediately.

First try curiosity, gain some perspective and then choose an appropriate route.

5. Prioritising humanity

Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m important, but I’m not that important to the point of wanting the world to revolve around me.

So what I have to wait in line a little longer...

So what I can’t have exactly what I want right now...

So what if someone gets a slightly better job than me...

So what I have to celebrate something on a different day...

Instead, I practice gratitude.

And every single day, I am grateful for the way of life I was born into, the people I am friends with and the pocket of time that I occupy.

The average quality of life is remarkable.

We are alive in the greatest period of time by any possible measurement—we are so blessed.

Just in the last 100 years alone:

• Access to electricity rose from 10% to 90%

• Global literacy rates rose from <40% to 86%

• Extreme poverty has dropped from 75% to 8.5%

• Access to clean water improved from 25% to 74%

• Life expectancy doubled globally from 34 to 73 years

• Infant death/birth ratio dropped from 150/1000 to 27/1000

There is so much work to be done, I know.

But we have so much to be grateful for and so much to celebrate, let’s focus on what we do have, rather than what we don’t have.

The next 3ish years are going to be tricky.

I do recognise that.

Quite simply, with Trump in office, the extreme right has been emboldened.

But again, ultra-nationalism and Judeo-Christian values are frameworks an individual can hold up without feeling the need to ostracise members of our community that we don’t understand or agree with.

Fear usually comes from a lack of understanding.

The more we feel like we are lacking, the more likely we are to look for someone who is causing this lack.

Someone who is ‘taking from me’ and ‘making me lose’.

Gratitude stops fear in its tracks.

It diverts the gaze away from what you’re missing out on and illuminates what should be celebrated (i.e. what you should be grateful for).

Final thoughts…

Fear is a tool.

Someone is always trying to sell it to you.

The answer has never been to fight fear directly. It’s to have something inside you that makes the fear irrelevant.

Gratitude does that.

Every single day, I make it my mission—regardless of what’s happening out there—to be thankful for this life I was born into.

We can all win; we can all have a piece of the pie.

Be grateful for what you have, and don’t be afraid to share; there’s plenty to go around. Just remember, we will all die and be buried in the exact same earth (so who gives an eff).

Stay vigilant and keep your heart open to everyone, always; it is our only hope.

I believe in us—together we can...

MAKE. GRATITUDE. GREAT. AGAIN.

With gratitude,

SAV

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Crazy, I know, right?!

Me… leading and managing other human beings…

I mean, I knew this world was going a little crazy, but this might be a bridge too far, or at least that was my initial feeling about the step up in responsibility.

You see, it’s not that I didn’t believe I would figure it out; I just wasn’t sure that the respect would be there. I wasn’t entirely sure I would get the buy-in required from senior team members and agents more skilled than I.

I wasn’t sure I was, or could be, the guy.

That’s the fear that follows you into a new role—not whether you can perform, but whether you can lead.

In the space of a few short weeks, I have been able to silence the internal chatter.

I have by no means shot the lights out, but brick by brick and day by day, I am earning my own confidence and, in turn, the confidence of those relying on my leadership.

The movement has been fun, scary and exciting, but I’m here for all of it.

Let’s have a look at how we got here, how I’m doing and why I think I might just be a better leader than I give myself credit for…

A quick recap on how we got here…

Firstly, I will just say that a more in-depth recap of this period of time can be found in the newsletter I posted in January this year. You can read it here:

Matt Savelberg | Stoicism & Mindset

Desperate Times—I Took a Commission-Only Telesales Job (and it Changed my Life)

There are no shortcuts…

Read more

6 months ago · 2 likes · Matt Savelberg | CHAMP CAMP

In late 2024, I ventured back to Melbourne after a stint in my hometown.

Within 2 weeks of my arrival, I had lost my job, and 2 weeks after that, I had not managed to find a suitable living arrangement.

In other words, I was homeless and broke.

In a spurt of desperation and survival, I took a commission-only cold call sales gig and, within the same week, scored a short-term lease at a halfway house in one of Melbourne’s least desirable areas.

My highly anticipated return to the 3K was not going to plan.

But I kept pushing; my self-belief didn’t waver as I began navigating my way through the treacherous terrain life had brought me to.

Then, within the blink of an eye, the upward spiral started to work its magic.

• A chance interaction led to a job opportunity…

• This led to the ability to secure a better standard of living…

• Which led to security and months of hard work and overtime…

• This led me to put myself in a position to be considered for promotion…

• This enabled me to get a promotion and pay increase…

• Which led to moving in with my partner to formally start our lives together…

Everything happened so quickly.

If you guys knew where my life was in a physical sense 18 months ago, it would be pretty hard to believe.

But we made it here, and here is what I would like to talk about.

What the job looks like…

I essentially took over my manager’s role.

He got promoted to a more senior management position, and I was chosen to step up and lead the team.

The day-to-day touch points look like this:

• Team of 11 agents to manage

  • Rostering/coaching/KPIs/hiring/analytics

• 6 external stakeholders to communicate with

  • Reporting/forecasting

• 4 internal departments to work with

  • IT/compliance/partnerships/training

• 3 senior managers to report to

  • Team updates/changes in procedure/expectations

Elements of this I am used to and have been doing comfortably as an agent; other parts are completely foreign and are incurring a bit of a learning curve.

There is a lot of responsibility, but I own that—it’s all on me.

5 reasons I might be a better lead than I thought…

1. I’m ok with being wrong

One of the greatest skills I have developed over many years of studying my own mind is the comfortability to be wrong.

To say I don’t know.

To be the dumbest person in the room, but not only to be dumb, but to appear to look like I don’t know what is going on.

Stripping away the ego and being humbled by my imperfections.

We live in a world full of polarisation and absolutes. But not everything has to be absolutely correct, and not everything has to be perfect.

When you accept this, you leave space for learning.

You leave space for curiosity and wonder, you leave space for growth.

Being wrong doesn’t mean you are wrong forever; it just means that you are wrong until you find what is right.

Have you ever argued with someone willing to accept fault?

The answer should be no.

Because ‘argument’ insinuates a clash of ideas or emotions. A person willing to accept that they are or could be wrong doesn’t have anything to clash back with. The argument is over before it has begun.

Being wrong is not weakness. It is strength wrapped in humility.

2. My leadership style works

A few months back, I took a test for something called DiSC.

A DiSC report is the result of a behavioural assessment used to measure an individual's natural communication preferences, work habits, and reactions to stress or conflict. It is commonly used in workplaces to improve teamwork, leadership, and interpersonal relationships.

The test revealed my natural style to be predominantly influence with a touch of steadiness.

However, my work adjusted style resulted in high i or high influence.

Basically, meaning my energy, enthusiasm and ability to take people with me was/is my biggest defining feature of what would become my leadership style.

All the things that came naturally to me would now be the tools I would use in the work environment as a leader. The ability to engage and interact, encourage and instruct, make people feel seen, remain optimistic in challenging circumstances, etc.

I like people, I like engaging with people, I like connecting with people.

Leadership is the management of people, and management is just all of the above, with a sprinkling of authority and guidance mixed in.

3. I’m comfortable with tough conversations

Learning to build my self-belief from the inside out has given me an amazing foundation for all interactions with other humans.

I’m comfortable and do not shy from any type of interaction:

• Fun

• Light

• Insightful

• Optimistic

• Philosophical

• And even the tough ones…

I’m here for all of it.

My leadership style (influence) means that getting people to follow me will come naturally, but reprimanding or cracking down will not, because I like to be liked.

Based on the DiSC report, having tough conversations was flagged as something I needed to be wary of, and I will continue to be, but I am also acutely aware of the necessity of said conversations.

Without vulnerable, honest participation in conversation, there can be no growth.

My evolution as a man has seen me remove the ego and fear that stopped these conversations in my past. I hold myself to a high standard, and I am very comfortable with letting them be known and leading others toward higher standards for themselves.

Tough conversations doesn’t mean telling people they haven’t been good enough.

It just means being transparent, radically transparent. Seeing something you think is harming the greater good and calling it out.

Simply saying ‘I fucked up’ and not making excuses, bringing selfish behaviour to someone’s attention, letting someone know that their journey with your team has come to an end or saying the thing that no one wants to say simply because it is the right thing to say.

These conversations come in many forms.

I’m here for all of them.

4. I’m resourceful

When I was younger, I used to offload all responsibility to other family members.

If the TV remote didn’t work…

Or I couldn’t get the internet set up…

Or we needed to organise a family event…

I opted out. Always.

Anytime I had to think, I decided that this was not for me; I was not prepared to learn or figure it out.

Over time, and alongside my development of self-belief, I have removed this thinking.

Slowly, but surely, I have built a level of resourcefulness and an ability to find a solution or find someone who could show me the solution.

1. Building tools

2. Self-education

3. Trying new platforms

4. Learning technologies

5. Thinking outside of the box

Sometimes called the FITFO factor…

Figure It The Fuck Outedness

If I don’t know, I’ll find out. I’ll ask questions until I understand something. Basically, I will do what I have to do to figure it out.

Being a lifelong all-rounder means I don’t have a set method for operating.

That means everything is open to me at all times. To me, there is no right or wrong way; there is only the way.

And the way, is to move forward by any means necessary.

5. The work is the work is the work is the work

I have trained my mind to do the work.

Waking up early, going to bed late, working on the weekends, it doesn’t matter.

If work is due, if I know I need to get it done, I will get it done.

If I need to sacrifice another part of my life for the short-term to prioritise something time-sensitive, then I will do that.

This is not something I have always known.

This is something I have trained and repped out over and over again. Through my work on podcasting and content, showing up every day with no certainty of success. As well as my martial arts training, doing the 1% when no one is watching because that is what is required.

The work is the work, and the work cannot be automated or offloaded.

The hard work will show, somewhere, somehow, it will show.

A final thought

This leadership journey has just begun, but I feel like I am ready to meet the moment.

Not initially, but now, now I do.

I’m happy to be here, it’s good to see my progress, and I am excited for what this new chapter is going to teach me about myself.

It’s funny how the universe can do its work when you leave space for it.

I’m leaving space, trusting the process and consciously choosing my steps toward my greatest future self.

Alright, that’s from me this week, gang.

With gratitude,

SAV

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Opened the prompt. Started typing. Laid out my themes, my tone, and the structure.

Then I stopped.

What am I doing?

The point of this newsletter, this writing, this practice is for me.

My writing skills. My output. My consistency.

Having Claude put something polished together based on my core themes seemed like a good solution at 5:30am on a Thursday, with the work commute not far off.

But it isn’t.

So I paused, mulled it over and then closed Claude to begin typing what you are reading at this moment.

The last couple of weeks have been fast-paced, incorporating lots of new experiences and big changes. Everything is happening all at once, and my time management left a bit to be desired.

My instinct as I stared at my empty laptop screen was to take the easy route.

Don’t get me wrong, I use AI all the time—every day across every facet of my life:

1. Research

2. Solving problems

3. Transcribing audio

4. Answering questions

5. Grammar and writing checks

6. Building apps and tools for myself

7. Turning newsletters into short-form content

But today didn’t feel right.

I already offload so many menial tasks to AI—surely I wasn’t about to offload the only thing that makes me feel like I have some purpose as well. My own ideas, my own brain, the ability to write and create from my own experiences—that’s the only difference between me and an AI.

It can do everything else so well (and I let it), but this is me. This is sacred.

And I almost felt the constraints of life take that away.

There is a big lesson in this.

Something we aren’t all fully aware of just yet, but something that is going to be more and more important the deeper we collectively go down this rabbit hole.

I’ll give you a couple of examples to illustrate my point.

Example 1: Directions

For the entirety of human history, we relied on our own ability to know where we are and where we are going.

Our ancestors knew where North was at all times.

They could read the stars, the moon and the sun; they understood the wind and the sea’s undulations. They relied on the land and natural occurrences to know where they were and where they were going.

Then printing was invented.

Maps were created to help people remember, and the skill of placing yourself in the world began to wane.

The invention of computers led to smartphones and the creation of Google Maps.

Now humans do not need to remember where they are.

They are told so by their devices.

The skill of knowing where you are and how to get home is disappearing.

My generation is probably the last one that has some natural sense of direction.

I still remember my Dad with a book full of maps, traversing the QLD outback and finding places that, in a way, made my brothers and me feel like he was a magician. Occasionally, we would get lost, but that was part of the fun.

Now there is no fun, no exploration, no guessing.

Just a little device that has removed the thinking, fun and problem-solving, and replaced it with a clean one-shot answer of exactly what you need to know.

Example 2: Handwriting

Over the last 18 months (since entering a corporate space), I have heard so many people laugh off the fact that they have forgotten how to write.

Handwriting, note-taking, and journaling are beautiful skills that have been gently phased out from our desired skills as human beings.

No one cares how good your handwriting is, as long as you’re proficient on a keypad.

I still attempt to write on a page a few times a week because that feeling is essential for me as a creator and a human.

That feeling of a pen in the hand…

Pressing the pen onto a blank page and turning a raw thought into something real is a freeing and empowering feeling.

Whether the words are seen by many or none does not affect the process.

It is a sacred act that reminds me of who I am.

The skill of gripping a pen and writing from your own mind is special and too-readily overlooked for the quicker and more efficient alternative.

It makes sense, of course—writing digitally allows for:

• Cloud storage

• Quick look-up and sharing

• Easy amendments with AI-powered writing tools

But there’s something kinda special about handwriting.

Marcus Aurelius wrote Meditations by hand as a journal he kept entirely for himself. And knowing you are doing something that the greatest minds of all time did is comforting and empowering. These blokes all did it:

• Albert Einstein — Kept constant handwritten journals. Analysts who studied his notes linked his fast, connected handwriting to his ability to make quick leaps of logic.

• Leonardo da Vinci — Filled thousands of pages with notes and mirror-script sketches, covering everything from anatomy to early machines.

• Charles Darwin — Carried pocket notebooks to capture observations on the go. Those notes became the foundation of his theory of evolution.

• Ernest Hemingway — Disciplined logger. Tracked his thoughts, story ideas and daily progress by hand.

Handwriting is a physical act that generates connections between the words on the page and the neural pathways in your brain, which doesn’t seem to be as present with computer work.

Slowly, we are losing touch with our own thoughts and memory.

Final Thoughts

Ask yourself…

When was the last time you wrote by hand?

When was the last time you attempted to find your way and just… got lost?

When was the last time you had fun with your creations instead of sterilising them through AI?

AI isn’t going anywhere. I’m not saying ditch it.

I’m saying—notice what you’re handing over.

Because one day you might look up and realise the only things still genuinely yours are the things you never let it touch.

Automate what you can. Offload the heavy lifting. Find answers to problems you never thought you could solve.

Just don’t give away everything. Not yet.

I almost gave this one away this morning.

Glad I didn’t.

Making something faster doesn’t generate discipline. The act of showing up does.

Today I showed up and used my brain.

And for that, I can be satisfied with my effort.

That’s it from me this week, gang.

With gratitude,

SAV

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Yesterday at around 3pm, I received a text from my Dad saying simply “Nan’s gone”. It was expected after she was found to be riddled with tumours only 2 months ago, but no less jarring.

My beautiful, sweet, cunty, loving Nan was no more.

And before anyone chimes in with the ‘but she’s still here in spirit’ stuff, I know, I get it and am well aware of this. But her physical love and warmth will never be felt again, and it makes me sad.

So I wanted to dedicate today’s newsletter to her.

To talk about our relationship and the interactions that I most fondly remember, as well as what she meant to our family and how much she will be missed.

Her Story

Mary McCauley was born in the 40s in an inner-city Sydney suburb of Glebe, and like most people from her generation, her childhood was firm but fair.

Her father (my grandfather) fought in World War 2.

He survived and came back to raise the family, which included my Nan.

I honestly don’t know much about her early life apart from the fact that it was typical for her generation.

When she was 17, she met a bloke named Anthony Gooley.

They fell in love, shacked up, and like a good Irish Catholic couple started popping kids out at a rapid rate.

The first cab off the rank was my Mum (Pauline) when she was only 18.

From there, the kids came off the Gooley production line like clockwork. They ended up having 10 children in 13ish years… safe to say Nan & Pop was gettin busy! 😉

Life sounded pretty rough from what I’ve heard. Money was tight, and pressure was consistently on to make sure the mouths were fed. Pop worked as a plumber and handyman, while Nan stayed at home to care for the small village of children that they had now created.

A few years into their relationship, they started breeding greyhounds together.

Nan used to tell me that money was so tight at times that they would take a greyhound down to Wentworth Park (famous greyhound racing track) and rely on a placing (and cash prize) to feed the kids that week.

Things got even tougher when my Uncle Mark drowned in a river while they were away on a family camping trip. This loss absolutely crushed my grandparents, but they had no time to grieve; nine other children were relying on them to survive.

Shortly after, my Aunty Colleen was diagnosed with a disease that left her wheelchair bound in a vegetative state; she would remain like this for her 50 years of life.

Eventually, the kids would begin growing up and finding their own identities.

Slowly, they would all start finding their own battles.

Sexual abuse, petty crime, drug addiction, gambling, violence all started to become present for my Aunties and Uncles, partly due to the hardship at home and possibly due to the death and loss they had experienced.

My Nan, who had been a good Catholic girl, really struggled to control things throughout the 70s and 80s, as all of the kids battled their own demons.

Most notably, my Uncle Timmy, who turned to a life of addiction and crime, finding himself in and out of jail, before leaning on my grandparents, then making his way back to the streets and repeating the cycle.

It was tough for them to have children who battled demons, but they never stopped caring; they never stopped supporting their children.

Around the late 80s/early 90s, Nan & Pop moved to the Central Coast of NSW, which they would call home for the next 40 years. Things gradually started to calm, as the kids began finding partners and having their own children.

My parents met in the mid-80s before having me in 1988.

A similar trend followed with all the kids. Between 1987 and 2007, the 9 remaining children produced a total of 28 grandchildren.

This new life kept Nan busy.

Going from hospital to hospital, home to home, doing her best to help with the care of the grandchildren—this was all she knew.

In 2018, after a period of relative peace by my family’s standards, we were dealt a triple blow, with my Pop, Uncle Timmy and Aunty Colleen all passing away in a 12-month period.

Her childhood sweetheart and partner of 58 years was gone. During that grieving period, she also had to say goodbye to 2 of her children.

Nan was heartbroken.

But she did as she had always done and kept on pushing. Travelling to stay with my parents, who were now living in Darwin, coming to visit my brothers and me in Melbourne, and spending time with children and grandchildren—she loved her family and wanted to be around them at all times.

Like the trooper she was, Nan continued to show up and volunteer at the local St Vinnies shop, as she had for 40 years.

Her life and love never left her, right up until the very end.

Mary Gooley passed away at around 230pm on the 23rd of May, surrounded by her children, leaving behind 8 children, 28 grandchildren and 13 great-grandchildren.

A Bit About Nan (The Larikin)

Nan was a funny fucker.

A very cheeky woman who seriously enjoyed taking the piss.

I remember so vividly her constant bickering and snapping at my Pop (who was a major troll)… “Oh shut up Anthony”, when she had had enough of his nonsense.

They would always be going at each other, it was their love language.

Nan was a straight shooter. She kept it real. You did not have to guess what she was thinking, she would make it very apparent.

She was stereotypical of her generation in the sense that her commentary sometimes came with undertones of racism and homophobia. She grew up in a different era, so our expectations for subtlety were never high, but we always knew what she meant.

She had the biggest heart and made her love and sincerity felt to everyone.

Every friend or partner that I had ever introduced to my Nan was given the same energy (regardless of their race, sexual orientation or status); warmth, understanding and common decency. Everyone loved her.

I remember her being an avid reader, like a crazy amount of reading.

Every time we would go to visit as kids, she would be posted up at the dining table, drinking tea and reading a romance novel (she loved that garbage).

Two of her greatest loves: tea and romance novels.

She would always want to feed us, give us snacks or make us tea… in fact, my second last visit to see her was just us 2 at her dining table sipping tea from her nice tea cups that she had poured from her nice teapot.

In her later years (specifically since Pop passed), she started letting her naughty little inner-child out. Eating hash brownies with my Aunties, flipping everyone off, telling people to shove it where the sun don’t shine, really REALLY saying what she thought.

Hitting the pokies for a solid slapping session.

Just doing as she pleased without fear of judgement or a need to conform to societal norms and expectations.

Like the pressure of having to be a good wife/mother had been lifted.

She could finally just be.

After we heard the news of Pops' passing, my whole family gathered at the house they had lived in since moving to the Central Coast in the 80s. Roughly 15 of us (including Nan) made margaritas, got drunk, and invited a family friend around to get home job tattoos to commemorate the loss.

Nan didn’t get a tattoo, but she definitely got drunk and shared in the storytelling and laughter.

That was an incredibly loving and cathartic moment that was typical of family.

As I mentioned earlier, even right up until the very end, she was socially active and still volunteering. My Mum would take Nan out weekly, almost daily. They would go on little adventures, to shows, sightseeing, and try cafes and restaurants.

Trips to Melbourne together, trips up the Coast to visit family.

She was always on the go and doing stuff.

Nan was kept busy and loved trying new things; she never lost her sense of adventure and wonder.

Our Relationship

Nan and I were very close.

Being the firstborn grandson, I instantly found a special spot in the hearts of Nan & Pop—they were enamoured with me.

In my early years, I loved to probe her about her childhood.

“Nan what was life like during the war”… “Nan can I hear another story, please just one more about how you grew up”.

She would always indulge me as much as she could.

When I was in my early teens, I became obsessed with cricket. That became a new connection for us as her father played cricket with the greatest test batsman of all time, Donald Bradman, in the 1930s.

She actually gave me a book that was handed down to her from her Dad that had The Don’s signature from a Sydney grade game they played.

I was 15 and of course lost it (doh!).

Although I took some fairly turbulent turns throughout my 20s and early 30s, Nan remained gentle but honest when broaching tough conversations. She never talked to me from a place of judgment, just observation.

She never talked down to me. She always approached me with love and adoration, despite also being honest (very honest) in her assessment.

She had seen everything and knew how flawed human beings could be.

For the longest time, she didn’t understand the rapping and was critical of my musical pursuits. She eventually came around and learned to accept it as part of who I was.

After pivoting into life as a full-time ASX day trader around 2018, I started to pay more attention to the news and world events. We started talking about news and politics, and she would bounce ideas off me from things she had seen or read.

What was happening in global markets, the rise of Trump, COVID, recession fears and everything in between.

It was beautiful; we had unlocked a new layer to our relationship.

Over the last few years, I started greeting her with “what’s going on, old bag”… to which she would always and lovingly reply, “Hello, dear” or "Hello Matty”.

I loved poking fun at her (sometimes even poking her belly and forcibly wobbling it up and down while she sat helplessly), and she would always simply giggle and laugh it off, never phased or offended by simple and loving banter.

Over the last few years and since moving to Melbourne, we didn’t talk as much as one would like if you knew someone was months away from no longer existing, but I always tried. I would call to check in every month or so, or Mum would put her on the phone when they were out. I would always make sure to stop in and see her when visiting the Central Coast, no matter how tight for time I was.

The last time I saw her was a month ago, when the entire family was aware of her decline and when the pain was becoming intolerable.

There wasn’t a lot of talking, but it was nice to simply be with her.

I hugged and kissed her, knowing it would be the last time. She told me that she would see me again soon and be more talkative when she was feeling better. I left feeling heavy, I knew there wouldn’t be a soon.

I will miss her dearly, but this is life, and I have no regrets.

Rest in peace, Nanna. You are with Pop now, you get to see Mark, Timmy and Colleen again… I really hope they got pokies up there for ya.

Alright, that’s it from me this week gang.

With gratitude,

SAV

Thank you for reading this deeply personal piece.

If you enjoyed it, please consider subscribing below. I write here every week about life’s trials, tribulations and beautiful moments.

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Like I was collecting a NO from every corner of society.

Failed relationships, unemployment, near homelessness, poorly performing creative projects, injuries and illness, poor mental health and actual death. So many no’s that I damn near became an ENT surgeon… (No’s… nose… ear, nose and throat surgeon… okay, never mind).

I remained buoyant by my internal drivers and willingness to persist.

Those rejections started slowing in frequency, the more I fixated on what I could control. The more I focused energy on my inputs, the more impact I would have on the outputs—i.e., reality.

Life hasn’t become easy, but I have been seeing many more YES in recent times (more on this in next week’s newsletter).

I got used to rejection, but didn’t let it make me despondent.

I knew that the power to manifest change and alter my own reality was within my grasp. These apparent failures laid the foundation for future success.

Most of us don’t like NO—we avoid it like the plague.

Words like…

• No

• Failed

• Wrong

• Rejection

Are all synonymous with self-worth.

Rejection Everywhere I Look

As I said, my life has seen a lot of all of the above over the last couple of years. I’ve also seen a lot of it in the world around me. Professionally, personally and within my friendship circles.

People experiencing rejection, failure, knockbacks and knockdowns.

In everything:

• Work

• Sport

• Dating

• Money

• Business

• Relocation

• Relationships

It’s disheartening and difficult to see someone you know or love struggle with these losses—failure is a scary thing, rejection is real.

But no doesn’t mean never—it just means yes to something or someone else.

The sting of a stern NO can feel like a complete denial of who you are.

But it’s not.

That NO is just a YES in disguise… it’s a yes to another attempt to get to the real yes, aka the hard yes.

The famous Edison quote summarises it perfectly...

Love it.

You’re not losing. You’re not failing.

You’re collecting data.

Embrace the process and the feeling of the no, because it is getting you one step closer to the yes.

A Story to Illustrate the Point

Going back to the commission-only sales gig that I took back in late 2024.

This was my first ever sales gig, and not only was it cold-calling, but it was commission only… meaning, if I didn’t sell anything, I didn’t eat.

Talk about pressure.

I learned a lot in a very short amount of time. The environment required fast learning and even faster action.

Every call was put under the microscope.

Every tone or word was iterated on until the perfect call flow and pacing was found.

In sales, generally speaking, one of the key ideas is handling and being comfortable with rejection. It’s a core pillar of any sales role… learning to hear NO and simply accept it.

But this company took it a step further.

They didn’t just accept no…

They embraced it, loved it even.

If someone were to cut me off at the beginning of my spiel or hang up on me, my manager would turn to me and go, “What a legend”.

We were asked to celebrate these people.

These hard and brutal rejections were a NO that was encouraged and admired.

Why?

Because they weren’t wasting my time.

They weren’t slowing me down or getting in my way while I prospect for what I ultimately want—a resounding YES.

Which we always believed was close… now I was one call closer to finding it.

This company, this manager, embraced the strong NO. Because the hard NO, the quick rejection, frees up time and mental capacity to keep it moving until you find the right fit… to find a FUCK YES!

Final Thoughts

You have to embrace the no. Revel in it, love it, sit with it.

Embrace rejection, embrace failure.

It hurts. Yes.

I will not deny that... but you need it.

You need failure like a car needs petrol, like a tree needs sun or like the Parramatta Eels need to promise the world to their supporters and inevitably deliver mediocrity.

Trust me. Collect that data!

Get to the no/rejection/failure quickly and move on.

Fail fast.

You’re only one NO FUCKING WAY from the YES that will change your life forever... and that’s facts!

That’s it from me this week, gang.

With gratitude,

SAV

If this one landed, subscribe below. Every week I show up and tell the truth about where I'm at—the wins, the losses and everything in between.

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2 things before we start…

1. Apologies for running behind on this one—moving house, a lot going on at work, trying to balance things has proven difficult, but it won’t happen again!

2. This idea was originally published 8 months ago. I wanted to revisit it because it is a theme that keeps coming up for me and so many of my peers. I have added some extra sauce to give you a bit more to chew on.

Ok, let’s dive in, shall we!

Like a lot of 30-year-olds from my generation, I had no idea who I was.

Not in the existential, crisis-mode kind of way. More in the quiet, creeping way. Like I’d just... become whatever life needed me to be at the time. Like I had evolved and morphed for survival so many times that I had no sense of who I really was.

The undercurrents of life events had shaped me.

Each moment, carving out a unique pathway for my energy to flow.

At 16, I was the golf kid.

Then a traumatic accident happened, and I became the rapper. Then a poker player. After that, a music business guy followed by an ASX Day Trader, which rolled into the guy who couldn’t figure out what he was doing.

Sprinkle in a few moments of being the MMA guy and the Podcast guy, with a quick detour back to the rap guy, and we’re basically at the present day.

I’ve been mostly not choosing.

Not choosing who I am, not choosing what is important, not choosing where my energy flows, not choosing who I want to be.

Thankfully, I have had some awareness around this. Not much, but some.

This awareness has helped me become a little more intentional around some of the more important pillars in life.

Career. Family. Residence. Relationship.

All approached with a lot more intent… let me explain.

When we enter this world, we are little, uncomplicated things.

Balls of joy… pure joy.

No labels. No expectations. No story about who we’re supposed to be.

Just unadulterated consciousness, our true selves, if you will.

And then, slowly, the world gets to work.

Parents. Teachers. Friends. Heartbreaks. Wins. Losses. The job you took because it was “good enough”. The relationship you stayed in for far too long. The version of yourself that just... stuck around because it was easy.

In this way, the world sculpts you. And you let it.

Not because you’re weak. Because nobody taught you to pay attention, nobody taught you intention. Nobody taught you compounding, or momentum, or second and third-order consequences.

You’ve been taught emotion and reaction. Do first, think later.

At some point, you’ll be faced with 2 choices…

1. Sit back and let that shit keep happening—life’s been pretty effective at doing the driving so far, so maybe just leave it be.

2. Or you can take the chisel back, take the wheel back (choose your analogy)

I know it’s going to be harder, but I know which one I’m choosing.

However, choosing and moving are very different, but these 3 steps will have you moving in the right direction:

Step 1: Raise your awareness

You can’t change what you can’t see.

We’re all walking around completely unaware of the lens we’re looking through. The assumptions we’ve inherited. The beliefs we never chose. The habits that we’ve morphed into our identity.

These traits that we believe make us, us, are invisible to most—the first job is to slow down long enough to see them.

Different things work for different people:

• Meditation

• Journaling & writing

• Long walk without your phone

• Reading something that challenges how you think

• Sitting in silence and actually letting the uncomfortable thoughts show up

It doesn’t matter what tool you use to get there; just move slow enough to see the truth, however ugly that is.

Raise your awareness until you see the blind spots.

Step 2: Honest assessment

Once you can see clearly, you have to be willing to look.

Actually look.

And when you’re looking, speak plainly about what you see. Don’t be hyperbolic or emotional about it. Don’t be understated or overly optimistic.

Just spit them facts, raw and real…

Not the watered-down BS you tell the workmates at brunch.

Or the half-baked motivational shit you roll out for yourself after another week of getting everything wrong.

No. The real, hard, honest truth.

• How’s your health, actually?

• How are your finances, actually?

• Who are you pretending to be, and why?

• Are you happy in the relationship, or are you just comfortable?

• Are you doing work that matters to you, or work that just keeps the lights on?

Some of this may not be fun. That’s ok.

That’s the point.

You’re not doing this to feel bad about yourself. You’re doing this so you know where to start.

You can’t fix what you’re pretending isn’t broken.

You can’t solve what you can’t quantify.

Step 3: Massive, committed action

This is what really separates the boys from the men.

Raising awareness is great. An honest assessment is amazing. Feeling the discomfort of being real with yourself is brilliant…

But then you wait… I wait… we wait…

Wait for the right moment. Wait until you’re ready. Wait until life settles down a bit.

Here’s the truth, though, gang… that moment is not coming!

Ready is a feeling that arrives after you start, not before.

The action doesn’t have to be dramatic. But it does have to be real, and it does have to be now, and it will look different for everyone:

• Ending something that ran its course

• Having the conversation you’ve been avoiding

• Signing up for the thing you’ve been putting off for two years

• Starting the thing you keep telling yourself you’ll get to eventually

Whatever it is—do it wholeheartedly. Not halfway. Not with one foot out.

Your future self doesn’t care whether you felt like it or not. They just want to know you moved.

The version of you that existed before the world got its hands on you is still in there.

It hasn’t gone anywhere. It’s just buried under layers of existing.

You don’t need to excavate the whole thing at once. You just snatch the chisel back and make one intentional strike today.

Then another tomorrow.

Then keep going until you have sculpted something worthy.

Alright, that’s it from me this week, gang!

With gratitude,

SAV

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Every week I show up and tell the truth about the work—the good, the bad, the ugly. I would love for you to join me!

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This week, I experienced both ends of the humility spectrum at such breakneck speed that I am sitting here typing this out and still wondering ‘WTF just happened’.

From a frustrating situation at work that left me feeling pretty embarrassed, to a beautiful conversation and a compliment from a friend that grounded me in such a powerful moment of vulnerability.

Life can come at you quick—from every angle.

The test is going to find you, regardless of how well you try to avoid it.

The question is never… are you going to get knocked down? The question is always… are you going to get back up?

I’m still regaining my footing, but I’m confident in my desire to make myself proud.

The Backstory

As I’ve discussed in recent newsletters, this last month has been very challenging.

Every area of my life is facing disruption in some sense.

Some good, some not so fun, all relevant and all welcome. This is life, we don’t get to choose what life hands us, only how we react to it.

For the most part, I was handling it well, but the pressure was mounting:

1. Injuries — A chronic neck injury that is causing me severe pain and discomfort, and needing to be reviewed for possible surgery.

2. Health — Quitting, restarting and requitting vaping. Managing/restricting an overindulgence in alcohol. Not training enough to stop the muscle loss and weight gain. Trying to make time for remedial massage to manage the neck pain, as well as personal training to increase strength and mobility.

3. Moving — My girl and I had been applying for new places so that we could start our new life together. We finally got approved and are in the middle of packing/moving.

4. Work — Recently, a team leader position became available at work, I submitted my CV and am awaiting an interview date (which is tomorrow).

5. Death — We found out last month that a very close family member is unwell and likely not going to live much longer. Feeling my own feelings about that, and also watching other family members struggle with the news, has been heavy.

6. Content — Trying to work through all of the above, show up, create content and write this newsletter has been tough.

On top of these, I still have a job and a monthly target to hit.

I was dialling as hard as I could, but struggling to close; my mind was wandering too often throughout the work day and making my monthly target more and more difficult to achieve as the end of the month approached.

Which brings us to earlier this week…

The Test

It’s the last day of the month, and I had a bit of a mountain to climb.

I was doing relatively well, and by mid-afternoon, it was looking like I was going to hit target and potentially even earn some extra incentive money.

After 12 hours on the phone, at around 830pm, I called a prospect that I had been going back and forth with over the previous month or so. Not just a regular prospect, an older Iranian gentleman, who I had built a lot of rapport, and was even planning to meet for a coffee one day.

I took my time getting the quote right for him and found something that was going to save him and his family a lot of money.

After re-explaining the policy and confirming he was happy, we started the application.

It was now 35 minutes into the call and approaching 9PM, I asked for the account details to set up the direct debit (we do this on every call). He paused and told me he would give them to me the next day.

I told him that in order to submit the application, we needed to put in these details.

Something was wrong, I could feel his energy change.

I reassured him that this was a normal part of the process and if we didn’t input these details now, we would have wasted the last 30 minutes and would need to restart the application, as the other information wouldn’t be saved.

He put his daughter on the phone, who reconfirmed that they wouldn’t be handing over the details.

I started to grow desperate and pleaded with her to understand my position.

That made her more cautious.

The month was ending today; my target needed to be hit. I was only focused on myself, and the desperate energy that I was giving off sealed my fate.

I was trying to be a human, but I needed to be a salesperson, a professional.

The no should’ve been a no. I should’ve respected it and hung up with honour and discipline, rather than pleading and begging.

In the end, I burnt the sale and the relationship through my insistence.

How I acted on the phone was not overly bad, but it was definitely below par. It was how I acted when I got off the phone that really concerned me.

I screamed in frustration and threw something across the room.

In that moment, it all boiled over. The month I had and the experience of feeling like an untrustworthy person were too much. I acted out of frustration and low vibration, allowed myself to become too emotional and got genuinely angry for the first time in a very long time.

Like a proper man-child. Not impressive at all.

My brother James overheard the conversation and said that he didn’t think I handled it too poorly. His words were mildly reassuring, but I know how I felt, and I know what my standards are, and this desperation and subsequent outburst were well below them.

I have my reasons. These reasons are not an excuse, but they are a reminder that I am human. I’m not perfect, and sometimes I will fall short of my own standards.

The Realisation

The first realisation came only a few hours later when I was with my girl.

I was downloading what I was feeling and relaying how I acted. She reassured me that although how I acted was not great, the fact that I was even reviewing my reaction was important.

She reminded me that most people won’t even be aware of their reactions. That I was doing the right thing simply by becoming aware and self-assessing. This was a nice confirmation, and did help to subside some of my frustration, but it was a conversation a few days later that really cemented my relief.

My buddy came around for one of our regular body doubling/study sessions.

Basically just him and me, sitting down and tackling hard tasks, the boring stuff that is harder to do when you have to self-motivate.

We were an hour or so into the session when we stopped to check in.

He said rhetorically…

“Man, can I just say something?”

Followed by…

“You’re like a really impressive person. I love seeing the work you’re putting in to become a man, and it’s really great. I don’t know many people going as hard as you and putting in the work you’re putting in; it’s honestly inspiring. You’re creating a whole new person, and it’s great to see”

I was fully locked in to every word he was saying.

My heart was all the way open as each word landed gently in the centre of my soul and in the hands of my inner child.

A couple of tears came to my eyes as I expressed how much I needed to hear that.

I told him about the experience earlier in the week, the mounting pressure and how those comments had lifted a huge weight and feeling of shame.

It was special.

We hugged it out and got back to our studying.

The Lessons

I experienced so many highs and lows in such a short period of time.

I’m honestly still reeling from all of the above, but I have had a moment to reflect and here’s what I have learned/re-learned:

1. The life you’re building will take time

The process is the process, and the work is the work; don’t rush it. Trust yourself enough to show up and find a way through. You have before, and you will do it again.

2. Surround yourself with real ones

Wise words from my partner, honest insight from my brother and powerful reminders from a trusted friend kept me aligned to my values and showed me the importance of having close friends and loved ones who know how to hold you accountable but also be loving and vulnerable when needed.

3. Regulate your nervous system

Life isn’t going anywhere; the work will always be there. Find time to slow down amongst the craziness, draw a deep breath and calm yourself—whether that is through breathwork or a hug from a loved one, or by sitting and noticing. Bring yourself back to the present moment and deal with one thing at a time. Doing this frequently will mean you show up with power more often than not.

4. You can do anything, but not everything

Focus on one thing at a time. Find the most pressing, important task and give that your all, then once that is done, move to the next. Most things can wait; most things don’t need doing—employing the Pareto principle will bring huge results.

5. Only what you do next matters

Obviously, you would love to act perfectly all the time, but that’s simply not possible. I’m human, you’re human, we’re all fallible. We are going to act imperfectly and inefficiently, just try not to make it a habit. If you get frustrated or angry, learn from it and try not to do it again for a really long time. I used to get angry all of the time; it was my default. Over the last 4 years, I can count on one hand the number of times I have got genuinely angry.

6. If it’s not a fuck yes, it’s a fuck no

If you’re in the wrong room, you know it—don’t ignore that feeling. If a prospect doesn’t want to buy, act with power and walk away. There will always be another room, another prospect, another moment, another opportunity. Have the discipline and self-respect to see that and walk away with your head high. You are abundant, move like it.

Signing Off

Alright gang, that’s it from me this week.

Thanks for tuning in and riding with me. If you got anything out of this week’s newsletter, I’d love to hear about it. Even if you have your own story to share about a similar experience, let me know! Respond to this email, I read all of them.

Have a powerful week, champs, lesgooooo!

With gratitude,

SAV

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A tax return that hasn’t been lodged. An appointment that hasn’t been booked. A tough conversation you’ve been putting off for three weeks.

We all have our own version of this.

Tough shit that we just don’t want to do because it’s hard.

Just thinking about it hurts. The mere anticipation of the discomfort is enough to make you scroll past it, close the tab, find an escape and tell yourself you’ll deal with it tomorrow. But you don’t.

We don’t. I don’t.

Because tomorrow rolls around and guess what…

Tomorrow has its own version of that list! And that thing you avoided yesterday is still here—just bigger, louder, heavier and way harder to ignore.

Most people live like this their whole lives.

Running from discomfort on an endless loop. Avoiding discomfort by running to apparent safety, never realising that the running is the exhausting part.

The pain isn’t the problem.

Avoiding it is.

The Stoics knew wassup…

Marcus Aurelius didn’t have the luxury of avoidance. As emperor of Rome, every problem that landed on his desk was someone else’s worst day. Every item that made up his to-do list wasn’t just an action item; it dictated the fate of nations.

• Should we go to war

• How do we deal with famine

• Do we execute this person or that one

• When should we take over this part of the country

He didn’t have the luxury of avoiding any of it. The buck didn’t stop with him; he was the buck—and he journaled to himself about these learnings constantly in The Meditations.

That strength doesn’t come from the absence of hard things. It comes from the decision to stop treating hard things as things to be avoided.

It’s the daily choice to seek hard things as an opportunity for growth.

Ryan Holiday, in The Obstacle Is the Way, builds an entire philosophy around this. The obstacle in front of you is not in the way of your path—it is the path… i.e. what you’re running from is probably what you should be running toward (unless it’s Freddy Krueger or Voldemort).

Another super famous Stoic, Epictetus, who was born a slave and honestly had every reason to cry and whinge, said:

None of these guys is talking about resisting or avoiding.

Hard shit is going to happen. Take it as it happens, learn what you can, resolve the situation and keep it moving.

Run toward the pain.

Right now, my life is a bit mangled tbh.

I’m moving house. I’m applying for a new role at work. A close family member is in the final stages of their life. I’m managing a chronic neck injury that may require surgery. I’m trying to stay healthy, be a good partner and still show up here every single week.

Shit is hard and taxing, but that’s how it is.

No complaining, that is simply the list.

And every single item on it has its own version of pain attached to it. Uncertainty, anxiety, stresses and sadness. Even this moment of sitting down to write, when everything in me wants to lie down instead.

I want to avoid it. I want to do the easy stuff. I want to tell myself that I can take a break from writing, or that my health can wait til later, that I can take accountability when things settle down.

Life doesn’t wait for you to feel ready. Time don’t wait for no man!

So I run toward the pain.

Not because I have it figured out, or even think that I will figure it out. But because I know from experience that the only thing worse than doing the hard thing is carrying the weight of not having done it.

There’s no way around, only through.

The pain of the work is temporary. The pain of regret is eternal.

The longer you leave it, the worse it gets—that’s a promise.

Seneca wrote in Letters from a Stoic:

The only thing we have is time, our time, our precious moments on this planet.

Every day that you avoid pain or work is a day that you offload a compounded version of that to your future self. The anxiety of avoiding it and the time pressure of now needing to complete it in less-than-ideal circumstances turns a hard thing into an impossible thing.

The trade doesn’t make sense—you pay the emotional cost without ever getting the relief.

It’s like holding onto a losing trade long past the point you knew it was done. Or staying in a relationship that ran its course two years ago. The longer you leave it, the more it costs you—and trust me, that bill will always need to be settled.

So stop putting it off. You know the work that needs to be done for you to be the healthiest, happiest version of yourself.

Don’t say no when every part of you knows the answer is yes.

When you see the pain, don’t turn away…

Grit your teeth. Tie your shoes up tight. Limber up.

Then run toward it, because it isn’t going anywhere, but you might be able to transmute it into something worth having.

That’s it from me this week, gang.

With gratitude,

SAV

If this landed, subscribe below.

Every week I show up and tell the truth about the work—the hard bits, the slow bits and the bits that make it worth it.

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This then that. That then this.

Every 6/12 months, something new. Not always brand new, some recycling and pivoting back to. But constant change nevertheless.

• New fling, partner, lover

• New school, town, state

• New creative endeavour

• New hobby, skill, obsession

• New job, employer, career path

• New addiction, mindset, transformation

But every single time returning back to the same brain. The same unorganised, energetic thing that I was partly born with (I say partly because we all have the power to rewire and override the faulty systems we were born with).

Over the last few weeks, I have been sharing my attempts to tidy up that mess.

Talking about who we are when everything is stripped away and the identity problem I had been avoiding (and now facing)… then rejoicing at the new content idea being executed and the immediate fallout from how it had made me feel.

It’s been a journey (and it’s only April 😩)!

Underneath it all, the same fundamental problem was there all along.

The problem that I have been facing was not necessarily just one problem. It was one problem with three parts.

It took a body-doubling session with my fellow ADHDAF creative friend Dan on a Saturday night when I was left to stare at a screen until I did something of value to properly see this.

Lemme explain…

Problem 1 — Identity

This one, I believe, I have gone over ad nauseam, so I won’t harp on.

For those new to my writing, I’ll give you the TLDR.

I am a rapper, podcaster, trainee Stoic, mental health advocate, content tinkerer, gratitude guru, MMA enthusiast and work as a full-time sales agent.

I have been fighting so hard for so long for all of this to make sense.

How do I make rap content and talk about Stoicism?

How do I make MMA content but let them know that I rap?

How do I share the ups and downs of wild mental health and proclaim to understand the healing powers of gratitude?

A frustrating conundrum that has led to a lot of starting and stopping.

Trying to make things make sense would inevitably lead to attempts to make things neat, which would in turn lead to trying to make things perfect, which would, of course, lead them to not exist.

Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Stop etc etc…

The Solution:

Don’t overthink it, put it all in one place and let the market decide what you are.

I am the niche, the niche is me.

Problem 2 — Content

Every time I get on a roll, I trip and fall, and this is usually the reason why.

Not because I don’t know how to make content, in fact, I have gotten really good at making content. Maybe even too good… 🤔

What I mean is, making content has become second nature to me.

Something I had to drag myself to do, and that seemed impossible to show up and produce, is now as natural to me as watching Parra get my hopes up and then crush them in the same week.

I make content—I’m that guy!

But the problem is not making any content; the problem is knowing what content to make.

Every time I would get on a roll talking about something, creating consistently and building some momentum, I would inevitably feel the pull to talk about other stuff.

Then I would ponder on how to do it perfectly…

Then I would freeze…

Then pivot…

And start again.

I have a billion examples. But here are a few of the more recent and more memorable ones.

1. 2020-2022: Making ASX/trading content, sharing my journey as a self-employed full-time ASX trader. Gained a large following on Twitter and started doing numbers on YouTube. I wanted to talk about my new love for gratitude and self-improvement. I overthought it, stalled, then stopped altogether.

2. 2024: Making lots of MMA content on a content page, as well as interviewing professional fighters on my podcast and getting invited to do content at fight events—momentum building. Wanted to be known as a rapper first, not an MMA content guy, so I overthought it until I stopped and pivoted.

3. 2025: Leading up to the release of my CHAMP CAMP EP last year, I was really getting on a roll. Shipping daily DIY indie rapper content and showcasing my music and creative process. I was regaining my identity as a rapper, but when the EP was released, and I wanted to talk about Stoicism, it felt weird and forced, and I second-guessed myself until I stopped creating entirely.

The Solution:

Something Isaac John (founder of YKTR) says a lot is to document the journey.

It’s a position that personal-brand/marketing kingpin Gary V has riffed on for years, and one that Alex Hormozi has turbocharged.

No more trying to create content.

Don’t try to be an authority, document the journey and simply show it as it happens.

Less thinking, less editing, more reps, more connections.

Problem 3 — Systems

Systems, structure, planning, scheduling.

These words are to me as kryptonite is to Superman, or winning a game of footy is to Parramatta.

They just don’t go together.

I have tried countless times to find something that made sense to me… whiteboards, Google Docs, post-it notes, journaling, lists, Notion, Apple Notes app, habit trackers.

They would all work for a week, but then life would happen, or an idea would hit me when I wasn’t near my primary tool. The idea would go down in a notepad and never get transferred to Notion or vice versa.

Until you get to the point (which is where I am now) where you have every thought you’ve ever had sprinkled across every corner of my apartment/the internet.

Maaan, what to do!!? 🤪

If only we were living through a technological revolution where a man could conceptualise any system or idea possible and create it with a few simple sentences…

Ah huh! I know what I’ll do… I’ll turn to the large video storage education/entertainment centre to seek guidance.

I opened up YouTube, and this video popped right up on my feed… God bless you, algorithm!

The Solution

In the above video, Jeff Su breaks down exactly how to use Claude Cowork to automate workflows and essentially build a second brain that remembers everything relevant to your life and work and learns from itself to make tasks more manageable and output more consistent.

This is the solution. This is the centrepiece of a messy life.

A place to organise the chaos!

So, after watching it a handful of times, I opened up Claude and began tapping away.

After going back and forth with chat and co-work, we were able to flesh out the idea, build the guardrails and create a place for my brain to call home.

I now have Sav OS installed.

Somewhere to come back to every day/week to recalibrate and get my bearings. This is not the work, this is not the act of creating, but it was a pivotal first step to lay the foundation so that I can finally build the way I have always wanted to…

Chaotic. Consistent. Honest.

Problems will come and go, the planet will continue to rotate, and life will keep chugging whether we show up or not.

No one really cares what you do.

They care how you do it.

This is the very small first step, but I finally feel the how is starting to make sense—like I have some control over it, like I have some say in what it looks like.

That’s it from me this week, champs!

With gratitude,

SAV

Every week I show up here and document the real version of building something—the mess, the pivots, the small wins and the moments it finally starts to click.

Subscribe below to join me.

LESGO CHAMP!

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If you been rocking with me for a while, you may have read it… if not, you can watch the podcast episode I did on it here.

Basically, I was talking about how trying to write like every other creator on X was killing my output and my confidence. About how my story—weird, turbulent, real—was my greatest weapon and how I wasn’t using it to my advantage.

I believed I was right then. I still believe it to be true now.

Now, some of you may recall that I was talking about this idea only a couple of weeks ago—if you missed that one, you can read it here:

So why am I still having the same conversation with myself?

Why is this so hard to really get right?

The truth is, I am moving forward (slowly, but surely).

I’ve shipped a newsletter every Sunday for the first 3.5 months of the year without missing. I branched out and started creating the CHAMP CAMP content with a carousel system to bring my newsletters and ideas to IG. The podcast has been repositioned, and I am still writing raps.

The gears are turning. The jigsaw pieces are falling into place.

From the outside, it probably looks like things are moving. I’m productive, things are getting built, I’m doing “the thing” etc etc…

And it is. They are. I am.

But something has been quietly stalling underneath all of it.

My content output has stagnated since I posted about the CHAMP CAMP—and when I sat with why, the answer was uncomfortable.

I don’t always know who is supposed to be showing up.

Is it Savilian — the rapper with war stories and a body of music that still makes me feel like me?

Is it CHAMP CAMP — the stoicism and mindset platform I’ve been building and genuinely believe in?

Is it Sav — the ADHD creative journeyman just documenting his life in real time?

One man. Three lanes.

And when life gets hard (like it has recently), I feel completely paralysed trying to figure out which road to take.

So I do what most people do when they’re confused.

I stall. I second-guess. I overthink the positioning instead of just creating.

I spose the lack of mental capacity over the last month hasn’t helped.

But a moment that really didn’t do me any favours came a couple of weeks back, when a mentor figure and someone whose opinion I really respect said something that was gratifying and also completely derailing.

He told me that my music is good. That the CHAMP CAMP EP is still worth talking about and marketing. That I should be putting out more content around it.

He said, ‘man know one knows it exists, you haven’t told anyone’.

And he’s right.

Although this comment was nice to hear, it probably left me more confused than anything. Feeling like I was getting some momentum going with CHAMP CAMP, only to realise that Savilian still needs me.

Confusing amirite!!?

In my head, I’d been trying to separate the lanes. Rap over here. Stoicism over there. Give people clarity, give them context. Neat little boxes for a messy human life.

But that’s the problem… I’m not neat, my life is not easy.

My brain certainly is not orderly.

What if the things I keep trying to organise and separate are actually supposed to be one thing?

What if the niche, me, is supposed to be just that…

Me.

Identity is still holding me back.

But I am everything I need to do and everything I will ever need to talk about. My stories, my experiences, my journey are not replicable.

Getting clear on the why is the key.

Because the rap, the stoicism, the ADHD, the journeyman life—none of those are separate things. They’re all just chapters of the same story. My story.

Savilian writes about the life.

CHAMP CAMP is the philosophy behind how I live it.

Sav is just the guy doing both, in public, imperfectly, every single week.

Maybe the through-line was never the platform or the content pillar.

It was just me—documenting the craziness of my brain and life instead of performing a version of it.

I don’t have this figured out. Nowhere near.

I’m very much still in the middle of it, grinding through and trying to solve the problems that my brain presents.

But I’m done waiting until the lanes are clean before I create. The lanes might never be clean. And the audience I’m trying to reach doesn’t need clean lanes—they need an honest person showing up consistently and telling the truth.

I need to unshackle myself from needing to be a creator, and just start creating!

So that’s what I’m going to keep doing.

If you’re out there wrestling with the same thing—too many ideas, too many versions of yourself, not sure which one to lead with—just know you’re not alone.

Pick the one that’s most true. Lead with that. Build from there.

That’s it from me this week, thanks for tuning in.

LESGO CHAMP!

SAV

Every week I show up here and tell the truth about what it actually looks like to build something from scratch—the music, mindset and mess in between.

No performance. Just that real shit… that champ shit.

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My internal monologue was crippling.

After many many bad decisions throughout my teens and early twenties, I was left with an inner critic that attacked my every move.

A savage operator. Relentless.

No days off from its violent and crushing assault.

I really hated myself.

Hated who I was, how I showed up, how I kept finding ways to fuck things up. That hate followed me everywhere. Into my relationships, my decisions, my creative work, and my connection to family and friends.

There was no escape.

For over a decade, I carried that weight.

Beginning The Work

In early 2020, I saw an opportunity to begin to turn the tide.

The first thing I did was start journaling.

Not because someone told me to. Because I knew that the version of myself I thought I was and the version actually showing up every day were not the same person. I needed data. Real, honest, unfiltered data.

So I documented everything I did for an entire year.

What I ate. How I moved. How I spent my time. How I spoke to myself when things went wrong.

I tracked the hours I spent drinking, making music, exercising and socialising.

Every detail was put down on paper so that it was real.

I could not run from it.

What I learned was confronting—but clarifying. I could finally see the pattern. And once I could see it, I could start to change it.

Once I had the data, I had 2 options:

1. Acknowledge and begin to make adjustments

2. Change nothing and continue living in ignorant bliss

I always believed I was meant for something more. Some level of greatness, at least in my own universe and understanding of things—so, of course, I chose the former.

From there, I began trialling things to help me fight my way back.

One of the decisions I made to help in this fight was in late 2020 when I got started on antidepressants. I started taking sertraline after a long-term bout of anxiety started taking its toll.

I knew this was not going to be a permanent solution, but I believed it could assist me in my climb back, and it did.

Another (hugely pivotal) thing that I tried was hypnotherapy.

After hearing about the benefits years earlier from my brother Dave, I had been curious to try it, but never felt quite ready, however the therapist I was seeing at the time had suggested a hypno friend of hers, and I knew I had to take the opportunity.

So I booked a session and put myself on the hook.

The Hypnotherapist

Before I walked in, I spoke to Dave to get an idea of what I was walking into—as I said, he had done it a few years earlier and knew what to expect.

He gave me one piece of incredibly potent advice:

I thought deeply about that one thing. So many things needed to change…

• Stop lying

• Stop drinking

• Stop gambling

• What I wanted to be

• What I didn’t want to be

• What kind of man would make me proud

But there was one thing that came out on top. One idea that needed to change above all else. So when the hypnotherapist asked me what I wanted to work on, I didn’t overthink it:

“I want my inner voice to be kind.”

That was it. Just six words.

I lay back as she began talking and felt myself drift into a sleep.

To this day, I cannot explain what happened in that room. I don’t understand the science of it. All I know is that I closed my eyes, and when I woke up, something had shifted. It wasn’t a dramatic change, but something inside me was different.

I slowly learned how to be kind to myself.

The voice inside my head, the inner critic, had begun taking days off. The barrage of hate and spite began slowing down.

Now, 4 years on, I live harmoniously with that voice as my friend.

I still make mistakes. Plenty of them.

Like heaaaaapppss of them!!

But I’m no longer at war with myself when I do.

Don’t Regret This

A while back, I saw a conversation that echoed my thoughts.

Scott Galloway (author and entrepreneur) was on Chris Williamson’s podcast talking about life, regret, and financial freedom.

In the section on Forgiving yourself when you fall short, Scott talks about a friend of his who interviewed people in the last stages of life—specifically, what people say when they’re at the end of their life, looking back.

One of the most common things they wish?

That they had been less hard on themselves.

Not that they’d worked harder. Not that they’d made more money or built bigger things or had more fun.

Just less hard on themselves.

And I have thought about that ever since.

Because here’s the truth—you are the person that you have to spend most of your life with, heck, maybe even all of it. You are going to fall short. Repeatedly. You’re going to make bad calls, miss the mark, say the wrong thing, and choose the wrong path.

That’s called being human.

The question is: what voice do you choose to meet those moments with?

A Final Note from A Stoic

A quote from Seneca has been a big part of my journey toward self-improvement in this regard. In his writings titled Letters From a Stoic, he says:

He wasn’t talking about self-help, morning routines or optimisation.

He was talking about something far more radical—the decision to stop treating yourself like the enemy.

I’m still working on it. I still fuck up. I still make mistakes. Some days, I get it very wrong. But I am no longer spiteful in my reflections. When I make a mistake, I catch myself and gently chuckle before exclaiming, “Oh, Matt you silly man”.

I’m kind. I understand I am flawed, and I do not run from it.

That one shift has changed more about my life than any habit, any strategy, or any external result ever has. Because I now enjoy being me, I enjoy living in my own head and body.

So wherever you’re at right now, be kind to yourself while you do the work.

Silence the inner critic.

They are not your friend.

Just remnants of a person you used to be in a life you do not live anymore.

Another zinger from Seneca to conclude…

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.”

And that includes you!

Alright, that’s it from me this week, gang. See you next week!

👊 LESGO CHAMP!

SAV

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Every week, I write about the unglamorous, honest, sometimes uncomfortable work of becoming who you’re trying to be. No motivational BS, just real talk from someone still in the middle of the fight for self-respect.

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My journey toward self-discovery and self-belief started in early 2020.

COVID had set in, we were asked to stay at home, and I finally had the opportunity to begin building habits that I had been putting off.

I got really good at the habits.

Like, really good!

My morning routine for a solid 2-3 years looked like this:

• 7am - Alarm goes off, I lie there for a few minutes negotiating with myself and eventually drag myself out of bed and down to the kitchen

• 715am - Take my time preparing a coffee whilst listening to some pump up music

• 730am - Journal for 20 minutes, practice gratitude and do some reading (eg. think about who I was and who I wanted to be)

• 830am - Listen to a podcast while making brekky

• 9am - Eat slowly, check my phone, then have a shower

• 945am - Sit at my computer and eventually begin to start doing any real work

It was usually 3 hours before I was doing anything that could be considered actually productive.

I felt productive, I felt like I was doing important work.

What I was doing was something different; in a sense, it was some sort of productive procrastination, aka busy work.

This work was important for where I was at, it was a stepping stone.

But I was using so much of my mental capacity every single day on things that were not (in the long run) going to move the needle.

I understand that this was a phase. A very important phase of transition. From ignoring all of these elements of my identity for so long, to finally acknowledging my shortcomings and getting real with who I was.

But in a way, it quickly became a new form of avoidance.

Because the thing that I actually needed, the thing that was missing, was to actually ship the work.

Letting my creations out—into the real world!

That all changed after watching a video from Alex Hormozi.

In the video, Hormozi talks about his morning routine—or more accurately, his anti-routine.

He starts the video in true Hormozi fashion…

“I’m probably gonna piss a lot of people off with this video”

He then goes on to talk about the importance of making the main thing, the main thing. The man behind $100M+ in business revenue wakes up at 5am, drinks a coffee, and works. That’s it. No cold plunge. No 47-step ritual. No hour of journaling before a single dollar gets made.

His argument was simple, and it hit me like a freight train:

Most “morning routines” are habits millionaires formed after they got rich. Not the reason they got rich.

These habits are a luxury, not the lever-pulling priorities.

The cold plunge, the gratitude practice, the elaborate breakfast—these are rewards that successful people added to their lives once the work was already done. The algorithm of Instagram reverse-engineered them and sold them back to us as the path to success.

At the time, I thought I needed these habits, and I don’t regret them, but I now see that doing the hard work was always the answer.

The Solution: Zero Gap Mornings

Hormozi calls it minimising the gap between waking up and working. I call it the Zero Gap Morning. Here’s how it actually works in practice:

Step 1 — Identify Your Lever Before you go to sleep, know exactly what the single highest-leverage task is for tomorrow. The one thing that, if done, moves everything else. For me, it’s writing. For you, it might be creating content, sending pitches, or building something. If you’re an athlete, it could be training. If you’re a trader, it could be studying tape.

Step 2 — Wake and Engage The moment your alarm goes off, you have a 5-minute window before your brain starts negotiating. Don’t give it a chance. Me personally, I don’t even make the coffee until I have written for an hour, but I’ll leave this up to you. Whatever you go with, have the work in front of you and pull the trigger… zero preamble. You don’t get ready to work; you just work.

Step 3 — Protect the Block These first 2-3 hours of the day mean everything. No phone checks, no socials, no emails. This is your deep work fortress. The world will still be there at 12pm. Your best thinking happens here, when your mental capacity is at its highest—do not trade this time for anything, especially notifications.

Step 4 — Let the Work Earn the Ritual Here’s the reframe. I still journal. I still move my body. I still have slow mornings sometimes. But now they come after the lever has been pulled. The ritual is the reward, not the prerequisite. The work earns my self-respect, the rituals help refine it.

What This Looks Like For Me Now

I’m not going to pretend I nail this every day. I don’t.

But the mornings I do? I look up, and it’s 8am, and I’ve already written 1,000 words, or drafted three carousel concepts, or mapped out a podcast episode, or scheduled a week of threads posts.

That feeling has no comparison.

Before the day has even fully started, I have won. I have beaten down the voices that tell me to avoid the hard stuff. I have taken control.

I originally wrote this newsletter in 2023. On that morning, I was slightly hungover, hadn’t showered, and hadn’t eaten. I just opened the laptop and wrote. It became one of the pieces I’m most proud of.

That one moment told me everything I needed to know about where the magic actually lives.

It doesn’t live in the ritual.

It lives in the act of showing up before you feel ready.

Final Thoughts

Your morning routine isn’t broken. Your relationship with it might be.

Ask yourself honestly: is your morning ritual fuelling your most important work, or replacing it?

If you wake up and the first 90 minutes of your day is simply setting up, you are not preparing for the game. You are delaying it.

The champion version of you doesn’t need a perfect morning to perform.

They just need to show up and make themselves proud!

Until next week, champs!

SAV

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Not just feel. Or react.

To actually stop and ask:

“What does this look like in six months?”

“How do I feel about this when the dust settles?”

I call it a skill because I’ve had to build it from scratch. It didn’t come naturally. It came from enough bad decisions stacking up until I had no choice but to do something different.

Before we get deep, some real talk…

I haven’t mastered this, not even close. I probably never will.

But the stats are in, and the number of bad decisions I’m making has dropped. A lot. And that’s where I’m speaking from. Not from the guy who has it figured out. From the guy who knows where he’s been and is paying close attention to where he’s going.

Since as early as I could remember, my feedback loop looked like this:

For years, I lived here; most people never escape it.

Pulled by emotion, driven by reaction, dealing with the fallout somewhere down the track. And the wild part is that it doesn’t always feel wrong in the moment. Sometimes it feels like instinct. Sometimes it feels like courage.

There’s a difference between trusting your gut and being a slave to it.

That difference took me years to learn.

The old software took me places. I met great people, had wild experiences and learned a lot about myself and the world around me. No regrets there.

But it was flawed from the jump—and a reboot had been long overdue.

In early 2023, I started seeing things differently.

I had come to a crossroad after a long-term relationship had fallen apart, and I was essentially starting again at the tender age of 33.

A few small habits started stacking up:

1. Regular combat sports training

2. Hard physical exercise

3. Showing up creatively

All of these started building my self-belief.

With growing confidence and a much more positive internal monologue, I started questioning things more:

“What if I don’t go out tonight?“

“What if I don’t waste energy on this girl?”

“What if I just do the hard work that I told myself I would do?”

These questions created space, a space that I was not familiar with. That space allowed me to question things, and those questions allowed me to make informed decisions.

The upgraded loop looks like this:

Simple. Not easy.

Looks good on paper, but the real world is where the magic happens.

The updated software only works when something with actual stakes lands in front of you. A real choice. Real consequences.

Instead of diving in, you run the process.

You sit with it. And that pause does two things every time:

1. It gives you options. When you’re not locked into your first reaction, you see angles you’d normally miss.

2. It creates space. Room to make the right call instead of what feels right.

Let me give you two real examples.

Scenario 1

I start training at a gym close to home. Community gym, familiar faces, a space I genuinely value.

I get talking to a woman who captures my attention.

Old Sav dives straight in. Full send. Deal with whatever comes later.

New Sav runs the process.

When I actually sit with it, the answer is pretty clear. The upside is real, but so is the downside. This place matters too much to me to risk making it complicated. A friendship is the better play here, long-term.

So I gave myself enough distance to make the right call. Zero regrets.

Scenario 2

Someone I respect pulls me aside, compliments my work and offers me an opportunity to work inside their vision.

I’m flattered. Old Sav shakes hands before they finish the sentence.

“I’m valued, I’m wanted!! Thank you so much… now let me give up on my dreams to help you chase yours.”

New Sav runs the process.

When I picture what this actually looks like six months down the track, the answer comes up fast.

I need to prioritise myself. My future self is worth more right now.

So I said no. Respectfully, gratefully, but no.

In both cases, old Sav would’ve created complications.

Acted too fast, got it wrong—saying yes to things that pulled him away from the life he’s trying to build.

The result was always a sort of sadness.

An accumulation of bad decisions and a slow drift away from yourself, from things that matter.

That’s what you pay for operating with a short thought-to-action loop.

So before you act, pause. Run your own version of the process. Begin with the end in mind, because when you get there, you’ll be glad you did.

That’s it from me this week, gang.

LESGO CHAMP 👊

SAV

If this landed for you, hit subscribe below. Every week I write about the things that actually matter—mindset, identity, discipline and the unglamorous work of becoming who you’re trying to be.

No fluff. No hacks. Just real talk from someone in the trenches with you.

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At the tender age of 37, it seems a little strange/scary to be pivoting (ever so gently) away from the only thing I have built success with (Savilian).

It has been a little taxing and stressful.

But it has been exciting, because I know that what I am building here is guaranteed to last the rest of my life.

Due to the burden of this challenge (one that I asked for), I decided to ask for help.

I reached out to a buddy of mine who is a creative professional with many years of experience in branding, designing, UX/UI, and just being generally creative. This was a monumental change, and I needed some human oversight (Claude is not enough).

He sent me 5 questions to ponder on at this moment.

Questions to help me think about what it is that I am trying to achieve in this moment, that will shape the future of both voices.

So, typically, I decided to turn them into content.

Doing so would ensure I got it done in a timely manner, but also allowed me to open up with my responses, and hopefully give you some ideas, too.

Here are my answers.

Question 1

What problem are you hoping to solve by separating the visual identities of Sav/Savilian and Matt Savelberg?

Right now, I am posting everything under one umbrella.

• Music

• Podcasting

• Rap content

• Frameworks

• Stoic content

• Mental health

• Self-improvement

All of the above are posted and communicated as Savilian.

Savilian is a rapper who keeps it real and tells stories. He is a raw entertainer.

Matt Savelberg is a thinker/teacher who practices Stoicism, thinks about mindset and loves to write about life’s challenges.

The 2 identities have very different content and attract different people.

Rap fans + friends and family don’t want to have Stoic essays and reels about self-improvement thrust upon them, and vice versa.

Mixing them creates noise, confuses the algorithm and stunts growth.

This separation is purely to give both voices room to breathe, allowing me to freely post both types of content without affecting the core idea of the page/brand.

The change is to enable clarity, refine direction and plan for growth.

Question 2

How separate should these two identities feel to the audience?

Very different in terms of branding and types of content, not at all different in terms of authenticity and values.

Savilian: darker colours and themes, raw, using #fa5807 as brand accent—more photo content, rap only reels (no educational content or podcast clips). It’s all about me and my journey as a lifelong rapper and performer.

Matt Savelberg: lighter and more inviting, using #c0a0ff as brand accent—carousels, educational reels, brand-centric memes.

They know it is the same guy, but now the content is more consistent across the page/channels. They know what they’re signing up for.

Different colour palettes, content pillars, themes, and branding, same authenticity.

Question 3

How would you describe the personality of each identity in 3–5 words?

Savilian

1. Raw

2. Resilient

3. Courageous

Matt Savelberg

1. Stoic

2. Fearless

3. Empathetic

Savilian creates for the love of the game; he keeps it real but loves to show the work that he’s still here doing. Matt Savelberg communicates, unpacks and solves problems. He loves to think deeply, notice things and share his thoughts.

Savilian shows. Matt Savelberg tells.

Question 4

Describe the average audience avatar for each project (in a nutshell).

Savilian

People who are fans of me, whether they are people I have met, performed with or collaborated with. They are my friends and family, and random stragglers I have encountered on my path.

Savilian/Sav is my core identity, a rapper who has overcome a lifetime of self-doubt to be here creating.

They are also fans of rap.

I want to be discovered by new fans. I want my music to be heard by those who haven’t heard it yet. I want the stories to be understood and cherished (although this is not a priority).

Matt Savelberg

This content is a personal brand, a vessel for me to share the way I think and help people just behind me to get through life’s challenges. This is for people in their 20s-40s who are either rebuilding, starting something or levelling up.

Ideally, I want this to become a movement and potentially a business.

These are tools, frameworks, products and ideas to help people become the highest version of themselves, let go of fear and learn to live the good life.

Question 5

What does a successful redesign look like (in terms of metrics), and what changes?

There are a few ideal goals/outcomes:

1. Remove the internal block from creating—right now if I want to post, there is an internal tension between rap vs teacher. I want to be able to create freely for Matt Savelberg without worrying about the Savilian brand. I want the freedom to ship work daily.

2. Grow my Substack to 1000 subscribers by the end of 2026—this is really hard at present due to the discoverability limitations from Substack, having separate brands will attract the right type of audience and increase the likelihood of reading my writing.

3. Content shared more easily—I want my ideas to be shareworthy, I want people to get enjoyment and glean insights from the way I see the world, this can only happen if the messaging is clearer and more targeted.

4. Monetise my creations—asking for money for the things I build has always been difficult. For example, I have 250 gratitude journals just sitting in boxes because it felt weird pushing them on a rap page. Removing that barrier will allow me to create things with purpose and get them into the hands of people who need them without worrying about contaminating my friends, family, fans and supporters. Having this clarity will allow me to more actively pursue turning my creations into a supplementary source of income eventually.

5. Help people—the blockages I have placed on myself from not being clear on my brand and content strategy, lead me to post less and therefore reduce any chance of my writing/products reaching the people that need it. There’s a lot of fear and pain in the world, and I believe I can help some people overcome their fears and push through their pain through my writing, podcasting and content.

I do not wish to stop posting as Savilian (because I do have an album planned for this year), but I do want to give both voices space to find their audience.

Savilian will be a lot freer and more casual. Updating fans and followers on the new music I am creating, showing them the process of making new music and just posting what I want, when I want.

Matt Savelberg will be posting consistently, building systems and optimising for growth and impact.

Alright, that’s a wrap!

These questions were meant to help my mate understand my brand.

They ended up helping me understand myself.

If you’re in the same boat, trying to work through who you are and how you want to show up in the world, steal these questions and try them for yourself.

Ask the questions. Write the answers. See what comes up.

LESGO CHAMP!

SAV

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